ebay Harley description

johnnycrash · 07-13-2004, 11:00 AM

My buddy tried to sell his Harley on ebay and failed. I told him it was because he was not colorful enough in the description, so he told me to write one for him.

Whatcha guys think about this one? I have not submitted this to him yet so feel free to make any suggestions.

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You are bidding on a true piece of Americana, a 2002 Harley Davidson Soft tail Night Train. This rolling-gold-chain is the epitome of form over function, having a horsepower to weight ratio almost equal to that of a school bus. Yes folks, if you are desperately trying to overcome some huge personality flaw then this bike is for you!

Win the affection of fare-weather friends! Enjoy instant affiliation with crystal-meth addicted scumbags! Project a gaudy persona that knows no shame! Laugh in the faces of practicality and pragmatics! Wear ass-less chaps with pride! Forgo reliability and usefulness for an over-chromed image whose vanity knows no boundaries.

Yes folks, if you are man enough to ante up half your annual income, the respect and admiration that you deserve can finally be yours! Imagine being in the center of the thronging crowds of other Harley owners, drunk in the blissful ignorance that led you to spend such an incredible amount of money on 1920’s technology. Experience firsthand the kinship and camaraderie you will receive when pulling into the parking lot of your favorite drinking establishment while straddling his 750-pound, over-chromed behemoth.

Sea Captains wanted - this land yacht is ready to leave port! Express your individuality today by joining the flock of millions. Bidding starts at only $15,000!

Exercise the buy-it-now option and I’ll even throw in a GENUINE HARLEY DAVIDSON coffee cup (a $50 value), a GENUINE HARLEY DAVIDSON wallet (complete with safety chain – a $100 value), a six-pack of Stroh’s, and a whole case of oil dry.

Edit: abtechs advice applied.

Baketech · 07-13-2004, 11:02 AM

Yeah...that's great...

You got some good creativity....spend it promoting motorcycling instead of hating and the world would be better off for your efforts....

johnnycrash · 07-13-2004, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baketech

Yeah...that's great...

You got some good creativity....spend it promoting motorcycling instead of hating and the world would be better off for your efforts....

Bake you are totally and completely missing the point - which is apparently my bad. I think its' called satire.

I don't hate harleys, I in fact used to own this very one for sale. I just enjoy razzing this particular best friend of mine about his bike - just like he constantly razzes me about my "rice burning Jap made crotch rocket".

Jeez!

Baketech · 07-13-2004, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Whatcha guys think about this one? I have not submitted this to him yet so feel free to make any suggestions.

You asked for opinion....I gave mine....I thought that was the point?

Pete · 07-13-2004, 11:23 AM

Johhny, don't worry, Baketech's just going through one of those "Am I a man or a woman?" phases, so he's a bit irritable.

Zippy · 07-13-2004, 11:27 AM

That was darn funny to me. Even though I love the look of a nice Harley, I can still make fun of them. I really love the look of Ducati's, but I make fun of them too. It doesn't mean I wouldn't ever buy one or that I actually hate the riders of these bikes. The reason it is funny is that it is based on at least some truth, but presented at a skewed angle, you know, like politics.

johnnycrash · 07-13-2004, 11:49 AM

Bake: First off, you are absolutely right. Thank you very much for your opinion even if it was criticism.

I suppose this was too much of an inside joke between my Harley owning buddy and myself to be shown to this audience or any audience for that matter. The whole thing was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. Months and months of trading insults with this guy (in a good hearted manner) has left me with the ammunition used in that little composition. I can see how the casual observer would not see the humor in it.

On a lighter note I emailed that to my buddy and he called me from his office unable to speak he was laughing so hard. He is going to have it made into a sign for his garage.

SuperDave · 07-13-2004, 12:11 PM

That was funny.

"Hi, my name's Dave, and I used to own a Harley too."

dirkmc1 · 07-13-2004, 3:34 PM

My friend works at a Harley dealership in sales....he rides an nicely setup Kawi ZX7R...the sales mg comes in one day witha service guy and another salesperson telling my friend that he has a tterrible fuel leak on his ZX...there was even a puddle under the bike...

**** was his response as he walks to the lot to check it out...as he arrives, he sees a couple handfulls of rice spread out under his bike in a spill fashion...

Thought that was funny an related...(remotely)

929_Nupe · 07-13-2004, 3:52 PM

I though it was GREAT!!!!

I'm gonna send it to my boss....

abtech · 07-13-2004, 3:54 PM

The only flaw in your ad copy is the comment about 50s' technology. Try 20s' technology and you'll only be off by about 8 years . . .

johnnycrash · 07-13-2004, 3:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirkmc1

My friend works at a Harley dealership in sales....he rides an nicely setup Kawi ZX7R...the sales mg comes in one day witha service guy and another salesperson telling my friend that he has a tterrible fuel leak on his ZX...there was even a puddle under the bike...

**** was his response as he walks to the lot to check it out...as he arrives, he sees a couple handfulls of rice spread out under his bike in a spill fashion...

Thought that was funny an related...(remotely)

This EXACT thing happened to me a few times. It took a while before I found out which "buddy" was doing this to me.

I retaliated next ride by putting oil dry under his bike (a Buell) while he was away from it.

SuperDave · 07-14-2004, 7:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirkmc1

My friend works at a Harley dealership in sales....he rides an nicely setup Kawi ZX7R...the sales mg comes in one day witha service guy and another salesperson telling my friend that he has a tterrible fuel leak on his ZX...there was even a puddle under the bike...

**** was his response as he walks to the lot to check it out...as he arrives, he sees a couple handfulls of rice spread out under his bike in a spill fashion...

Thought that was funny an related...(remotely)

That was good!!!

Baketech · 07-14-2004, 7:26 AM

Yeah...that was a knee slapper back in about 1978....a real hoot....

I know some of you guys are old, but jeez where have you been....

If you guys are into blowing the dust off old jokes, I got a ton of old Abbott and Costello records in my basement...that stuff never gets old either....

SuperDave · 07-14-2004, 7:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baketech

Yeah...that was a knee slapper back in about 1978....a real hoot....

I know some of you guys are old, but jeez where have you been....

If you guys are into blowing the dust off old jokes, I got a ton of old Abbott and Costello records in my basement...that stuff never gets old either....

I never heard the one about the (leaking) handfuls of rice under the bike, I thought that was funny.

But if you want to post the Abbot and Costello stuff, that'd be cool too!

Baketech · 07-14-2004, 7:50 AM

johnnycrash · 07-14-2004, 9:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperDave

I never heard the one about the (leaking) handfuls of rice under the bike, I thought that was funny.

But if you want to post the Abbot and Costello stuff, that'd be cool too!

I had never heard of that either. Maybe it was because I was nine years old back in 1978 when this prank was apparently so popular.

I guess you learn something everyday.

Break out your Abbot & Cost stuff - maybe I can learn something else from the older folks.

Baketech · 07-14-2004, 9:29 AM

I'll look for it....should be near my World's Fair spoon collection....

Serial Thriller · 07-14-2004, 11:32 AM

Who's on first?

deez · 07-14-2004, 11:50 AM

It will be sold in no time now

You could have just summarized and said "Please buy this overpriced piece of outdated ****!"

BigDaddyJ · 07-14-2004, 1:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booth23

It will be sold in no time now

You could have just summarized and said "Please buy this overpriced piece of outdated ****!"

CBR929RE · 07-14-2004, 2:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnycrash

This EXACT thing happened to me a few times. It took a while before I found out which "buddy" was doing this to me.

I retaliated next ride by putting oil dry under his bike (a Buell) while he was away from it.

haha thats awesome especially since its actually backed by truth. me and a friend of mine go back and forth with another friends dad who owns a 65 harley and he even once said "I've never seen a harley that doesn't leak oil." I'm not sure if the Buells leak to but close enough for me.

I generally don't like Harley guys cause they won't wave, they think they're better than us with their bikes that on paper shouldn't even run. They did wave at us when my friend had a Superhawk but thats just cause it was a V-Twin.

Baketech · 07-14-2004, 3:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBR929RE

haha thats awesome especially since its actually backed by truth. me and a friend of mine go back and forth with another friends dad who owns a 65 harley and he even once said "I've never seen a harley that doesn't leak oil." I'm not sure if the Buells leak to but close enough for me.

I generally don't like Harley guys cause they won't wave, they think they're better than us with their bikes that on paper shouldn't even run. They did wave at us when my friend had a Superhawk but thats just cause it was a V-Twin.

I'll wager a sawbuck that says you don't even know why early Harleys "leaked" oil.....

Oh and btw, the wave is stoopid and should be banned....

Ban The Wave