George Bush joke

Proto · 06-30-2006, 5:57 PM

Supposedly. You decide.

Quote:

George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
Obviously, he goes to Hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the Devil."you're on my list, but I have no room for you.
But since you definitely have to stay here, I am going to have to let someone else go.
"I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" George shouted. "I don't think so. I am not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long".
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, over and over, time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder, I would be in constant agony if all I could do was breaks rocks all day", commented George.
The Devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton Lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"

Proto · 06-30-2006, 6:02 PM

Another one. even worse.

Quote:

George Bush is standing in his office when Condi comes in to tell him the sad news that two Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan.

She is surprised to see him pale, and stagger into a chair. He rests his head on his hands, and a salty tear falls onto his notepad.

After a while he composes himself and looks up. "Condi," he says, "exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Getsome · 06-30-2006, 7:07 PM

that's some funny ****.

redhotz28 · 06-30-2006, 9:04 PM

Good ol' Bushisms. Always good for a laugh. I like the guy a lot, think he does a great job, but man... he should have learned better vocab if he was in a line of public relation.

navydevildoc · 07-01-2006, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhotz28

Good ol' Bushisms. Always good for a laugh. I like the guy a lot, think he does a great job, but man... he should have learned better vocab if he was in a line of public relation.

At first I wasn't gonna reply to this, but then I realized that this is in the politics forum.

In what ways do you think he is doing a good job?

I suppose he was a good tour guide to PM Koizumi today at graceland, so we have that.

JBODIE · 07-01-2006, 5:35 PM

Hats off to Proto! Funny, very funny!

Proto · 07-01-2006, 5:57 PM

Please don't get all political on me. Not intended to start anything, it's just for a laugh.

I originally posted this on Off Topic but a moderator moved it to Politics.

Substitute any politician in there and it's the same joke.

tuffy6969 · 07-01-2006, 7:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proto

Please don't get all political on me. Not intended to start anything, it's just for a laugh.

I originally posted this on Off Topic but a moderator moved it to Politics.

Substitute any politician in there and it's the same joke.

You BARELY escaped a severe lashing my British friend! Nice Red Herring. You should have been a philosophy major.

So.....here we go....

There.....I did it with style and without getting angry.

deez · 07-01-2006, 7:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navydevildoc

In what ways do you think he is doing a good job?

I think his greatest quality is spending $ we don't have, he is really awesome at that!

rumpy · 07-01-2006, 7:38 PM

Nice one

tuffy6969 · 07-01-2006, 8:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deez

I think his greatest quality is spending $ we don't have, he is really awesome at that!

No...I think you have the Democrats mixed up with the President.

Let me tell you what spending money we don't have is:

1. Largest contributor to the U.N. (what a fu**ing joke organization). We have our OWN people starving and homeless and we give BILLIONS to foreign nations - that's mother fu**ing wrong!

I'm not an isolationist....butI strongly believe we (and other nations) need to take care of their OWN PEOPLE first....then others. Ask Germany, Italy, Russia, France, Poland, Canada, etc... They already do it.

2. Giving and funding BIRTH CONTROL for African nations! what the hell is that all about. I could care less if those people breed until their penises fall off! It's not my concern.

3. Welfare....OMG...don't get me started on this SICK, OUT OF DATE, CRUTCH of a system that is going to bankrupt Joe and Jane Middle-Class in America because we are allowing MILLIONS of ILLEGALS to join the ranks of other welfare recipients. Why do I have to pay for THEM!!! They did nothing for me...NOTHING!!!! Me, my father, my brother, Uncles, grandfather, great-grandfather, etc.. ALL fought and some died for this??? SO that MY tax dollars and the tax dollars of WORKING Americans can go to Juanita the welfare mom and her 6 kids from sunny Mexico??? FU** THAT!!! I'm tired of it..... I swear there's going to be a reckoning soon.....and it's not going to be pretty.

The average - Joe American is only going to take the raping of his wallet by ILLEGALS for so long - then comes the fall-out. Mark my word.....it's coming.

There.....done.....

Scout · 07-01-2006, 9:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navydevildoc

In what ways do you think he is doing a good job?

Pronouncing New-cue-lur

navydevildoc · 07-01-2006, 9:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuffy6969

No...I think you have the Democrats mixed up with the President.

Let me tell you what spending money we don't have is:

1. Largest contributor to the U.N.

See comment related to #3.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuffy6969

2. Giving and funding BIRTH CONTROL for African nations!

Actually, many organizations (including the UN, BTW) provide all sorts of contraception and AIDS awareness classes. But usually, as soon as the foreigners have left, either the local government or clergy come through and remind them its a sin to use it. It's a problem when you cut aid off and then create a whole continent of people who despise America (whether right or wrong). We really don't need more people who hate us. We have pledged 3.2 billion dollars to africa, which is about what 3 or 4 days of the war in Iraq costs us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuffy6969

3. Welfare....OMG...don't get me started on this SICK, OUT OF DATE, CRUTCH of a system that is going to bankrupt Joe and Jane Middle-Class in America because we are allowing MILLIONS of ILLEGALS to join the ranks of other welfare recipients.

I am mostly in agreement here. We have created a "welfare class" that has evolved to live off of the handouts the government gives them. I have seen this firsthand with members of my extended family. They know the beauracracy so well it's sickening. I don't know the way to fix it, however. We DO need to limit it to legal taxpayers. I don't say citizens because many legal aliens live here and pay into all of these systems. They would seem to have as much right to use it as anyone else.

As a side note tuffy, you say we should stop giving money to the UN because we need to take care of our own people, but then go and blast welfare, which would seem to be the system you want to put the money into. Am I reading this wrong?

tuffy6969 · 07-01-2006, 9:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navydevildoc

As a side note tuffy, you say we should stop giving money to the UN because we need to take care of our own people, but then go and blast welfare, which would seem to be the system you want to put the money into. Am I reading this wrong?

Yes - you are reading it wrong. Welfare is NOT what I'm talking about. As we discussed - welfare is being abused by NON citizens. They are NOT my people. My people are Americans (Native born or naturalized) that pay into the system or HAVE paid into the system and need help. Not permanent help - but help until they can get back on their feet again. After which time, they will "repay" their debt through taxes. That's the way welfare was designed.

I think it needs to be COMPLETELY done away with. I think there is a better way and congress should be thinking about it. That's what we pay them for.
They sure as hell aren't going to listen to me. Anytime you begin to talk about welfare and illegal immigrants in the same sentence - you are an instant, racist, bigot, xenophobe, whatever other bull sh** name they can slap on you. No - I am an AMERICAN who pays HIS TAXES (royally) and I am representing 80% of America when I say we are TIRED OF THE MOOCHERS!

seamus · 07-01-2006, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navydevildoc

As a side note tuffy, you say we should stop giving money to the UN because we need to take care of our own people, but then go and blast welfare, which would seem to be the system you want to put the money into. Am I reading this wrong?

I would say to dump the money into the education system.

I've been a proponent of trying to find a way to reduce foreign aid but a lot of it is tied to stuff that actually needs to happen. Like the aid to stabilize the Russian ruble so the nukes that Russia holds don't fall into the wrong hands. Which is exactly what would happen if the ruble folded and the Russian govt collapsed.

Damn, if only it were easier.

clutchslip · 07-01-2006, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proto

Please don't get all political on me. Not intended to start anything, it's just for a laugh.

I originally posted this on Off Topic but a moderator moved it to Politics.

Substitute any politician in there and it's the same joke.

I heard that when you first posted these jokes. One I've heard with a different political name. You did good.

Over-reaction, elsewhere, IMHO.