Sadly I left without a wife

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 11:56 AM

This morning I resolved to hunt for a wife. To ensure all where treated fair I decided to give all venues an even chance.

First I went to the Humane Society and was greeted by a kind gentleman who spent the next hour showing me all the dogs and cats. He was kind and all the dogs and cats adorable but sadly I left without a wife.

Next I went to an elementary school. While this location had a lot of females they were all below marrying age so sadly I left without a wife.

From there I decided to persue religious candidates. To be fair I head to a monastary first, suprisingly I left without a wife. So to be equal and fair I headed to the local convent. Lots of fine and lovely ladies but sadly I left without a wife.

Next on to a rest home. Again lots of great people but no one my age so sadly I left without a wife.

Finally I met a single lady on the street and say hi. While pleasant and lovely she had no interest in me so sadly I left without a wife.

Now imagine if we attempted to detect terrorists in this way.

nhfirefighter13 · 08-11-2006, 12:07 PM

Have you been drinking?

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhfirefighter13

Have you been drinking?

no just reading the stupid ways they are 'searching' for terrorists. And running the same simulation WAY to many times

phobiaphobe · 08-11-2006, 12:16 PM

Is this your way of building a case for tapping the phones of single women?

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phobiaphobe

Is this your way of building a case for tapping the phones of single women?

no tapping them

gt702 · 08-11-2006, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheepofblue

no tapping them

Did you mean "taping"?

Duct tape might help.

phobiaphobe · 08-11-2006, 12:38 PM

And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.

gt702 · 08-11-2006, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phobiaphobe

And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.

But no self-respecting MAN would be anywhere without his "fix everything" roll of duct tape. Your from the great white north, you should know that

phobiaphobe · 08-11-2006, 12:44 PM

Handyman's secret weapon.

TopCat1947 · 08-11-2006, 1:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhfirefighter13

Have you been drinking?

Didn't you mean "Have you stopped drinking?".

johnnycrash · 08-11-2006, 2:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phobiaphobe

And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.

Yeah, and tape can often trap DNA or hair and clothing fibers - where zipties won't. Add in a black minivan with tinted windows and a bottle of chloroform and you've got all you need to find a new "wife".

Just remember to always drive at least 90 miles from your hometown and don't use your credit card anywhere along the way.

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 2:14 PM

Guess the whole point was to suttle for y'all

ihatecrashing · 08-11-2006, 2:17 PM

I hear you Sheep.

We are looking for "love" in all the wrong places...

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 2:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatecrashing

I hear you Sheep.

We are looking for "love" in all the wrong places...

READ THE LAST LINE and not the one about cows.... but do eat a cow...

SuperDave · 08-11-2006, 2:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheepofblue

This morning I resolved to hunt for a wife. To ensure all where treated fair I decided to give all venues an even chance.

First I went to the Humane Society and was greeted by a kind gentleman who spent the next hour showing me all the dogs and cats. He was kind and all the dogs and cats adorable but sadly I left without a wife.

Next I went to an elementary school. While this location had a lot of females they were all below marrying age so sadly I left without a wife.

From there I decided to persue religious candidates. To be fair I head to a monastary first, suprisingly I left without a wife. So to be equal and fair I headed to the local convent. Lots of fine and lovely ladies but sadly I left without a wife.

Next on to a rest home. Again lots of great people but no one my age so sadly I left without a wife.

Finally I met a single lady on the street and say hi. While pleasant and lovely she had no interest in me so sadly I left without a wife.

Now imagine if we attempted to detect terrorists in this way.

So you see Mr. Hand, the dudes are like totally bogus man, whoa...
[Jeff Spicoli]

gt702 · 08-11-2006, 2:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheepofblue

Guess the whole point was to suttle for y'all

No. This is just more fun

It is amazing how we (I'm including business and people in general here) try to get out of our troubles using the same methods and techniques that got us into trouble to begin with.

sheepofblue · 08-11-2006, 3:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gt702

No. This is just more fun

It is amazing how we (I'm including business and people in general here) try to get out of our troubles using the same methods and techniques that got us into trouble to begin with.

Yep just burry your head in the sand until my minions over run and then it is too late

seamus · 08-11-2006, 3:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gt702

Did you mean "taping"?

Duct tape might help.

Nope. He meant tapping. As in tapping that a$$...

Sheep's down with the lingo.

cbr99xx · 08-11-2006, 4:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seamus

Sheep's down with the lingo.

CBR929RE · 08-11-2006, 4:14 PM

Sheep don't they have bars down there?

maybe you could go meet a nice lady at bingo.

outside of a gas station bathroom while checking off one of the 48 states your RR has been riden in will not help your chances.

ND4SPD · 08-11-2006, 4:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBR929RE

Sheep don't they have bars down there?
maybe you could go meet a nice lady at bingo.

outside of a gas station bathroom while checking off one of the 48 states your RR has been riden in will not help your chances.

I don't go to bars much, but I don't think many of them have bingo nights.