You know you're from Cleveland when...
Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer
You think the Antichrist walks among us and moved to Baltimore in 1995
You refer to Pittsburgh as a Third World nation
You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky
You think political correctness involves using the term "certain ethnic" when telling a joke
You believe plastic lawn flamingos are essential in any landscaping project
Your second car is completely dissolved by salt by the time April rolls around
The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart
You actually remember when Dennis Kucinich was mayor
You see nothing wrong with wearing white sox with black shoes, even when wearing a tux
Party music involves an accordion
You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World
You know more about Frankie Yankovic than Weird Al Yankovic
Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire
You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999
You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.
You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.
You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.
You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the country music station of the year.
You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.
You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.
The Tri-C jingle "students for life" scares the hell out of you.
You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.
You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it.
"Good Morning from the Buzzard Morning Zoo" is a jingle you'll never forget.
Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.
You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.
You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
You see Christmas lights still up in July.
You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is.
You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower.
You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.
You have never ridden in a taxi.
You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.
You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.
You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.
You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party.
You know who the Jake really is
You hate Baltimore and you have never been there.
St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish.
You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.
You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back.
You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there.
You know Tower City isn't a city at all.
Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine.
At least half of your wardrobe is Tribe apparel.