We live on a large, hilly, wooded corner lot.
Among other reasons I'm absolutely thrilled to be moving next month (I'll spare you all the boring details), you can now include the fact a local dreg has decided its a barrel full of monkeys to rip up and down the hill on his ATV. Instead of staying on the street, however, he likes to jump the curb down below us, haul ass through our backyard, up around the corner of the house where the bedrooms are, clip the apex and hurtle blindly into the front yard (thank god the dog's not out there taking a dump - he'd surely kill her), and on up the street.
He's been doing this about every other day for the last week. My g-friend called me earlier today to let me know he did it twice this morning, once at 6 a.m. and again a few minutes later. Woke the whole house up on a Sunday morning. I'm so freaking mad I could spit.
When I was a boy, my dad took immense pride in the condition of our Kentucky bluegrass lawn. Neighbors did too. Pops taught us to use the sidewalk, that it was disrespectful to walk across someone's yard, their property.
And may god have mercy on the juvenile delinquent who was ballsy enough to ride their bicycle through the grass...
If I weren't moving, I swear by all things holy I'd run a piece of cable across his repeatedly chosen path through my grass, attach it about 3' off the ground via a couple of the very sturdy trees in the side yard, then pull it tight as piano string with a turnbuckle.
In fact, I'm so fired up I could literally baseball bat this piece of **** right off the back of his four-wheeler.