Who's The Man? - Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org
Off-Topic Discussion of anything that doesn't fit anywhere else. If it's related to motorcycles in any way, DO NOT post it here. Post it in General Discussion or a more specific forum.

User Tag List

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 8:24 AM Thread Starter
 
Zeeman's Avatar
 
Join Date: 04-05-2002
Location: Sydney, Aus
Age: 44
Posts: 3,549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 22
   
Who's The Man?

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.



2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.



3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.



4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.



5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and

- as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.



6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement.

Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.



7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.



8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".



9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.



10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".



11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.



12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-!

Stitch

that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.



13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.



14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.

Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.



15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women.

Congratulations,

you are now your dad.



16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?



17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.



18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don.

The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.



19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."



20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.



21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.



22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".



23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"



24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized floater.

25. LEAVING THE TOILET SEAT UP - self explanatory

Z...

You're f%#&king up my Chi...
Zeeman is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 8:43 AM
 
Heavy-Dee's Avatar
 
Join Date: 01-28-2003
Location: Nose in a book...
Age: 42
Posts: 6,318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 34
                 
Send a message via AIM to Heavy-Dee
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized floater.


Fasttrax #15n
Lockhart Phillips
Suomy Helmets | RK Chain | PowerStands | LeoVince
SponsorHouse
Heavy-Dee is offline  
post #3 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 12:42 PM
 
colryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: 03-12-2004
Location: Orlando, FL, USA
Age: 53
Posts: 2,057
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 21
       
Send a message via AIM to colryn
Re: Who's The Man?



I've got to hand it to you Z, that was some funny chit.

Well Done........
colryn is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 12:47 PM
 
TGZ13's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-17-2003
Location: Staten Island, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 24
   
Send a message via AIM to TGZ13
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized floater.
So very true... but its usually the latest issue of whatever motorcycle magazine has arrived
TGZ13 is offline  
post #5 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 1:41 PM
 
929_Nupe's Avatar
 
Join Date: 06-03-2004
Location: Ft. Lauderdale , Florida
Age: 43
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 17
 
Send a message via AIM to 929_Nupe Send a message via MSN to 929_Nupe
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeman

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don.

The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.






929_Nupe is offline  
post #6 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 1:51 PM
 
maxib's Avatar
 
Join Date: 06-20-2002
Location: MN
Age: 67
Posts: 1,892
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 23
         
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TGZ13
So very true... but its usually the latest issue of whatever motorcycle magazine has arrived

TGZ13 , I think you missed the other points in that one. Yes, it's manly to imply dropping the big floater, but when you're all out of toilet paper (and what manly man ever thinks to buy tp anyway???) you can get double duty with the newspaper. Much easier than using the glossy mag pages.

Why the heck do you think Z needed the $200 roll to pay the plumber later???

Now things starting to make sense???

Official Racer Dude Guy, according to a neighborhood 6 year old.
maxib is offline  
post #7 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 1:57 PM
 
TGZ13's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-17-2003
Location: Staten Island, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 24
   
Send a message via AIM to TGZ13
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by maxib
TGZ13 , I think you missed the other points in that one. Yes, it's manly to imply dropping the big floater, but when you're all out of toilet paper (and what manly man ever thinks to buy tp anyway???) you can get double duty with the newspaper. Much easier than using the glossy mag pages.

Why the heck do you think Z needed the $200 roll to pay the plumber later???

Now things starting to make sense???
some of us have sensitive rears so newspaper would be brutal

Last edited by TGZ13; 08-30-2004 at 2:14 PM.
TGZ13 is offline  
post #8 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 2:02 PM
 
Join Date: 04-17-2002
Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 2,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 20
 
Send a message via MSN to GhostRider
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeman
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

Bikes and women - both have nice curves.
GhostRider is offline  
post #9 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 2:09 PM
 
929_Nupe's Avatar
 
Join Date: 06-03-2004
Location: Ft. Lauderdale , Florida
Age: 43
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 17
 
Send a message via AIM to 929_Nupe Send a message via MSN to 929_Nupe
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TGZ13
some of us have sensitive rears .......

you might have wanted to keep that tender cornhole comment to yourself

Last edited by 929_Nupe; 08-30-2004 at 2:11 PM.
929_Nupe is offline  
post #10 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 2:11 PM
 
TGZ13's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-17-2003
Location: Staten Island, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 24
   
Send a message via AIM to TGZ13
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 929_Nupe
you might have manted to keep that tender cornhole comment to yourself
manted huh

You fixed that to quick

Last edited by TGZ13; 08-30-2004 at 2:12 PM.
TGZ13 is offline  
post #11 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 2:12 PM
 
929_Nupe's Avatar
 
Join Date: 06-03-2004
Location: Ft. Lauderdale , Florida
Age: 43
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 17
 
Send a message via AIM to 929_Nupe Send a message via MSN to 929_Nupe
Re: Who's The Man?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TGZ13
manted huh

fixed it
929_Nupe is offline  
post #12 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 2:13 PM
 
TGZ13's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-17-2003
Location: Staten Island, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 24
   
Send a message via AIM to TGZ13
Re: Who's The Man?

TGZ13 is offline  
post #13 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 3:03 PM
 
Join Date: 06-14-2002
Location: South Freakin Dakota
Age: 46
Posts: 379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 18
 
Re: Who's The Man?

#11 is me to a T. Only most of mine make fire and sparks. There is nothing like lighting your smoke with the cutting torch or on a freshly made weld.
half is offline  
post #14 of 17 Old 08-30-2004, 3:12 PM
 
Join Date: 06-23-2001
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1,835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 20
 
Re: Who's The Man?

Blimey, that was a good read.

Be fast or be last.
asiliat is offline  
post #15 of 17 Old 08-31-2004, 7:18 AM
 
Join Date: 12-10-2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Age: 55
Posts: 5,183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Reputation Power: 23
 
Re: Who's The Man?


Do unto others, before some prick does it to you!

ratter is offline  
Reply

  Lower Navigation
Go Back   Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org > Other > Off-Topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
A valid e-mail address is REQUIRED. You will not have access to any site features until you activate your account using the activation e-mail that is sent to this address.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Isle of Man TT deez Road Racing: Professional 13 05-23-2007 8:32 AM
Commandments of the Garage ConqSoft General Discussion 22 07-10-2006 9:47 AM
man, did i ever make a cop mad today Daltrey Off-Topic 33 06-02-2004 8:14 AM
Why it' good to be a man! MedTechRR Off-Topic 14 12-23-2003 4:32 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome