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post #1 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 1:44 PM Thread Starter
 
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Cops say the darndest things

Officers, next time, you can use one of these lines when arresting someone.

You're welcome....

============

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here

Be fast or be last.
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post #2 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 1:57 PM
 
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Re: Cops say the darndest things

0wn3d
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post #3 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 2:00 PM
 
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Re: Cops say the darndest things





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post #4 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 2:02 PM
 
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Re: Cops say the darndest things

Quote:
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
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post #5 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 2:32 PM
 
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Re: Cops say the darndest things

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here


So busted.....
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post #6 of 7 Old 09-14-2004, 2:34 PM
 
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Re: Cops say the darndest things

Or the ever popular:
Hand over the Fahitas and no one gets hurt!

Ride Red
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post #7 of 7 Old 09-15-2004, 4:59 AM
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Re: Cops say the darndest things

Bwahahahahahahaha

Yes it's Fast. No you can't ride it.
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