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post #1 of 3 Old 10-27-2004, 3:53 PM Thread Starter
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Lucas - Prince of Darkness

If you have or grew up with an "original" British car or bike, you will
probably appreciate...

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,
unexpected darkness"

Lucas - inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch - DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three
switch settings - SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The original anti-theft devices - Lucas Electric products.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any

If Lucas made guns, there'd be no wars.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's
Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked
the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all
look the same?". He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which
didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had
trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the
Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check
the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise
around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your
unworthy servant."

Lucas systems actually use alternating current; it just has a random
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post #2 of 3 Old 10-27-2004, 4:48 PM
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Re: Lucas - Prince of Darkness

Damned right, but that bastard company helped us all become problem solvers, didn't they?

An image from the past--- an old friend urinating on the smoldering wiring harness of a junker MGA on the side of the Harbor freeway in San Pedro comes to mind....
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post #3 of 3 Old 10-28-2004, 7:37 AM
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Re: Lucas - Prince of Darkness

Thanks for all the happy memories. As you say, CRVFR, it certainly helped my practical learning of the principle of electrics.
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