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post #1 of 5 Old 11-02-2004, 12:56 PM Thread Starter
 
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Funny email I got

A Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY
Yankee fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a
smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police
rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of
alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for
the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming
the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, the
extremely benevolent Sheikh decided to reduce their
sentence to just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they
were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh
suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish
before your whipping." The Cubs fan was first in line
(he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for
a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my
back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10
lashes before the whip went through. The Cubs fan had
to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when
the punishment was done. The Yankee fan was next up
(he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and
after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix
two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could
only take 15 lashes before the whip went through
again, sending the Yankee fan out crying like a little
girl. The Red Sox fan was the last one up (he had
finished off the crate), but before he could say
anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said, "You
support the greatest baseball team in the world, your
supporters are the best and most loyal baseball fans
in all the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal Highness," the Red Sox fan
replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first
wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not
only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man,
you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an
admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you
desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is
it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Tie the Yankee fan to my
back."
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post #2 of 5 Old 11-02-2004, 1:05 PM
 
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Re: Funny email I got

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post #3 of 5 Old 11-02-2004, 1:51 PM
 
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Re: Funny email I got

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....I got one quite similar to that one.


Dano

Dan
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post #4 of 5 Old 11-02-2004, 1:57 PM
 
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Re: Funny email I got

Here's another I got...

Olympics in New York
(Not so much about the Yankees, but it sure explains the fans)
In an attempt to influence the members of the International Olympic Committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2020, the organizers of New York City's bid have already drawn up an itinerary and schedule of events.

A copy has been obtained and is reproduced below.


OPENING CEREMONY

The Olympic flame will be ignited by a gasloine bomb thrown by a native of the city (preferably from the northern Manhanttan area), wearing the traditional costume of leather jacket, Yankee baseball cap and tattoo. It will burn for the duration of the games in a large armored truck sitting on the roof of the stadium.

THE EVENTS

In previous Olympic games, New Yorkers have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of athletes from NYC. These include:

* 100 METRES SPRINT *

Competitors will have to hold a VCR and a car stereo (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting gun, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

* 400 METRES HURDLES *

As above but with added obstacles (ie. taxicabs, trash cans, backyard fences, shopping carts, ... etc.)

* HIGH JUMP *

Barbed wires like those used in state jails are added, electrifying is optional.

* HAMMER THROW *

Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most grevious bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.

* FENCING *

Crow bars, broken beer bottles and batons are used instead of swords.

* SHOOTING *

A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The first target will be a moving armored truck. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk, bank teller or Stop 'N Go cashier. The final round requires competitors sitting inside a car and driving by a residential area to shoot at their targets.

* BOXING *

Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Super Bowl night. The husband will be given a bottle of wine while the wife will be told not to bring him any corkscrew when the New York Jets has just lost a touchdown. The bout will then commence.

* WRESTLING *

DWI and bomber suspects are to be let loose for 30 seconds before law enforcement officers storm in. Batons and handcuffs are not allowed in this event.

* CYCLING TIME TRIALS *

Competitors will be asked to go to a college campus and steal an expensive mountain bike owned by a hillbilly on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

* CYCLING PURSUIT *

As above but the bike will be owned by a defensive line backer of the New York Jets, who will witness the theft.

* MODERN PENTATHLON *

Amended to include mugging, breaking-in, flashing, purse snapping and drug delivering.

* THE MARATHON *

A safe route has yet to be decided since it is not likely held in the Central Park. The competitors will be issued with sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up litter on their way round the course.

* SWIMMING *

Competitors will choose to be either thrown off from the Brooklyn bridge or thrown into the Whitewater. The first three survivors back will decide the medals.

* MENS 50KM WALK *

Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Manhattan.

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members from the drug dealers, abortion advocates and gay & lesbian groups, sychronized rock throwing and music by the Army Sex Scandal Band.

The Olympic flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine onto it from the top floor of the apartment building next to the stadium.

The stadium will be then boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and wiring, and the equipment such as the PA system, scoreboard, big screen ... etc

Dan
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post #5 of 5 Old 11-02-2004, 2:44 PM
 
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Re: Funny email I got

maybe its because I'm a Boston fan so that means I'm really smart but I saw tying the yankee fan to his back coming from a mile away. good stuff

if you can't convince them, confuse them.
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