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post #1 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 2:38 PM Thread Starter
 
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colonoscopy comments

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

Bikes and women - both have nice curves.
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post #2 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 2:41 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

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post #3 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 3:19 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

No. 13 for sure .


Dano

Dan
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post #4 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 3:31 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

My grandfather says his physician is so gentle, he sent him flowers.

edit: He was referring to his prostate exam, but I think it still applies.

GIT-R-DONE

Last edited by Serial Thriller; 12-08-2004 at 3:32 PM.
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post #5 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 4:06 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serial Thriller
My grandfather says his physician is so gentle, he sent him flowers.

edit: He was referring to his prostate exam, but I think it still applies.






...in bed.
-------------------------------------

...you are trying to insult me, and I agree it is very easy to do, if you haven't sufficient respect for yourself. - Tolstoy
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post #6 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 4:12 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

Yeah, I think all those quotes are talking about a prostate exam. For a colonoscopy you're basically out of it and they just send a camera up there, not their hand.
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post #7 of 9 Old 12-08-2004, 5:53 PM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

I liked Billy Connolly's comment about his prostate exam. He was worried about looking his Dr in the eye during the procedure in case he winked

my bike
I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
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post #8 of 9 Old 12-09-2004, 10:07 AM
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

Quote:
Originally Posted by RPinOZ
I liked Billy Connolly's comment about his prostate exam. He was worried about looking his Dr in the eye during the procedure in case he winked
I've also heard 'I didn't think much about it when the doc put his hand on my shoulder, but when I realized he had both hands on my shoulders...'

GIT-R-DONE
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post #9 of 9 Old 12-09-2004, 1:29 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: colonoscopy comments

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serial Thriller
I've also heard 'I didn't think much about it when the doc put his hand on my shoulder, but when I realized he had both hands on my shoulders...'

Bikes and women - both have nice curves.
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