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post #1 of 12 Old 02-04-2005, 5:02 PM Thread Starter
 
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2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

The Olympics in Canada 2010

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 "Winter Olympics", the following are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!! These questions about Canada were actually posted on an International Tourism Website. The country of the question's originator is shown in brackets after the question, and we have supplied fitting answers to these "less-than-intelligent" questions

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegetarianan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Disclaimer:

This is intended to be fun only and is no way intended to offend anyone. Unless, of course, you are one of the people asking one of the above questions.
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post #2 of 12 Old 02-04-2005, 5:15 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

What nothing about rental sled dog teams? just goes to show how well kept the canadian "secret" is...
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post #3 of 12 Old 02-04-2005, 5:17 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Quote:
Originally Posted by Newfie TLR
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

That one is great, who knew, Hippos and naked went together?
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post #4 of 12 Old 02-04-2005, 5:22 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern RR
That one is great, who knew, Hippos and naked went together?
Maybe Phobia can give us some insight to that. He lives in Cow Town.
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post #5 of 12 Old 02-04-2005, 6:41 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

I took a hippo home from cowboys once. **** I was drunk.

And then there's this asshole...
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post #6 of 12 Old 02-05-2005, 11:11 AM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Quote:
Originally Posted by phobiaphobe
I took a hippo home from cowboys once. **** I was drunk.
Hahaha...
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post #7 of 12 Old 02-05-2005, 12:37 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

What? No one asked about our igloos?

Bikes and women - both have nice curves.
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post #8 of 12 Old 02-05-2005, 2:23 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

hey ghost wanna go curling? I'll walk over to Montreal

And then there's this asshole...
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post #9 of 12 Old 02-05-2005, 5:37 PM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Hey, when you are in montreal say hi to steve for me You probably know him too

Last edited by Northern RR; 02-05-2005 at 5:37 PM.
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post #10 of 12 Old 02-06-2005, 12:01 AM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Steve that works in an office? Ya I'll say hi to office Steve.

And then there's this asshole...
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post #11 of 12 Old 02-06-2005, 10:20 AM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Is the beaver really a proud and noble animal?

Z...

You're f%#&king up my Chi...
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post #12 of 12 Old 02-06-2005, 10:23 AM
 
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Re: 2010 Winter Olympics, Vancouver BC

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeman
Is the beaver really a proud and noble animal?

Z...
Yep, Tasty too...
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