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post #1 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 8:49 PM Thread Starter
 
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The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

If you are tired, thirsty or not in the mood then read no further. Wordy warning.....

Me and my g/f have been going out for 2 1/2 yrs now. Its been the best relationship that we have ever had, as we discussed during our routinely conversations to just to keep everything out in the open

She received her BS in Psychology about a yr ago and decided that she wanted to do something besides that with her life. Many conversations and decisions would follow over the next few months but after much thought she decided what she really wanted to do was to go to X-ray school. Good steady job, good pay and in serious short supply around here.

She has always been somewhat of a shy girl till she really gets to know someone, so i figured this would be good for her to get thrown into the middle of a really busy school / hospital and just have to think on the fly. Through the first semester (which ended right before Christmas) things seemed to be going great. She was making friends, leading her group with her grades, and things just seemed to be better then hoped for. After each semester its a school tradition that the students and their teachers go out and unwind from the total insanity that was their 1st semester. Here is where the fun starts.....

Just a little background..... My g/f had a boyfriend at a very young age and they were together all through Highschool, and part of college. Her family life is also totally screwed up with a mother who is a fat, evil, sadistic backstabbing wench who btw said I am nothing but a prick and I should die (long story) So anyway...

Being that she had a b/f and a strict young adult hood she never really go to experience all the fun or un-fun things that comes along with that age (ex... drinking, hanging out with friends till the middle of the night doing absolutely nothing, going away w/ friends...yadda yadda yadda). So over the first yr I started to convince her that you can be who you want to be (despite what evil woman might say), took her out, got her into shopping, went on some awesome vacations together, introduced her to the little vixin known s alcohol and many others which noone really needs to know This all led up to her mother thinking that I corrupted her daughter (and the I should die comment) mainly b/c I allowed her to be who she wanted not who the mother thought she should be

Ok rewind back to christmas. Christmas eve, day.. Newyrs eve all come and go and things are just as the have always been. Jan 3rd rolls around and she heads off back to school just as she had previously done 2 weeks before. Little at a time I start to hear from her that so and so (male) said I am beautiful, so and so said this or that. Ok no biggie we talk it over and all seemed ok. Weird things started to happen over the next few weeks though..... Before this school came around we talked everyday several times a day either on the phone of through text messages just to keep intouch cause we were both so busy. Little at a time the phone calls slowed down, followed by the text messages. I immediately suspect something is way wrong with this situation but was reassured that it was her over bundance of studying and 6 tests + a week. After seeing what she had to study I really could understand it.

Shortly after this whole thing she starts with I want to go out with my friends tonight.. ok I say go out. No big deal I am not going to stop you. At this point we are now down to 2 short conversations and maybe a text message and only seeing eachother on Saturday night after she works and hits the books for an hr or 2.
However what started to happen was her wanting to go out more including the 1 day a week we used to get together. **** that was my initial thought this **** has to stop. So we talk about it and she agrees she will go out with them just will find a night other then Saturdays to do it unless there is no other time they are going out.

Over the past 2 weeks she had seemed to make some kind of change, her attitude seemed cold and dry instead of full of life and warm like I had known it to be. I started to feel that cold draft creeping in and just tried to be as patient as I could.while I paid careful attention to all things that were done and said (I tend to be a super observant person). Last month she tells me she was way over on her text message allowance. She laughed and told me that she used 1400 Funny part is

I know for a fact that not even 100 of that came my way so where the hell did they all come from. AH HAAAAH that where the attention whore stepped in and said all her friends. So the same girl that was to busy to even say hello to me was going text happy with her peeps as she called them. Man I almost lost it at that point but

I held it together....Last weekend we went with a buddy of mine and his Fiance to see a band play, got ****ed up had a great weekend followed by breakfast the next morning and all the old feelings so I figured maybe things had stopped rolling backwards a bit.... .WRONG. The week that followed was the worst yet and

Friday I snapped.....

We talked at night and after a real brief and cold conversation I had to know what the **** was going on. I simply asked do you still love me. (all you manly biatches who dont understand bugger off) Guess what followed..... I DONT KNOW it just doesnt feel the same. no **** sherlock maybe if you would take your head out of your ass you would have noticed that over the past 2 weeks you totally pulled away from me. We had a long ass conversation about what I thought and she thought and all the fun stuff with it being left off that we would talk face to face on Sat.

Sat night comes around and it begins right where it left off (civilized as anything surprisingly) and we discussed how she wants to hang out with her friends more cause she missed that time of her life I snap but without yelling saying its that she is using that as an excuse, what she really wants is to try and make up for the lost yrs and go out party, hookup and just be free, I named 2 names of guys I know are part of the problem and I get the blank stare.... we talk for at least 2 more hrs about everythng and decide that she can have her freedom but I would still like to talk to her and see her once and a while. I mean I love her more then anything so I didnt want her out of my life. She leaves and onto Sunday we went.

I had a whole day to think about the previous night. Nighttime comes and we talk for 2 min and silence (neither one of us had anything to say). So we said gnight and we hung up. At this point I had suck a pain in my stomach and my heart felt like someone just gave me a good jab in it. After about an hr I text message her to see if she had a minute cause I was so upset. I get a message back and I quote "Thomas you need to relax. You are going to be fine and this is a very big week for me and I am not going to argue with you right now" Argue all I wanted was to talk. So I politely send one back saying "screw you, selfish bitch"

Followed that one up with something much more on point of what I really wanted to tell her... "Since I know you wont pick up the phone if I called.... I am not going to do this to you and me.... I really dont think I want you in my life right now. I love you and I just cant take the thought I have or the lack of things to say.. If you get your **** sorted out call me and we can talk about it but for now I just wont do it. I hope you find yourself and really wish you well in school Love Tom"

Partly really ****ed up partly what I really wanted to say. I just felt there was no way I could listen to her talk about school without thinking that the guys she likes are all up on her and her on them. So I am throwing caution to the wind. "If you love something, set it free.. if it comes back to you, its yours.. if not, it never was"

So after 2 1/2yrs more memories, pictures and feeling then I have ever had in my life I am yet again flying solo. Sad which I do on and off , hurt, angry , and confused are just a few of the words I can come up with for what this weekend has done to me....

I appoligize for this ridiculously long letter, all my spelling and grammar errors included but I just had to get it off my chest. If you read it to the end please feel free to chime in.

Last edited by TGZ13; 02-07-2005 at 9:17 PM.
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post #2 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:04 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Sorry to hear dude. Hang in there, keep yourself busy. Buy the RC somethin', she'll love ya for it



PS....does this mean you're coming to Grattan now?
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post #3 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:06 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Yeah, it sucks. Nothing anyone here can say will make it any better. Keep your chin up though.
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post #4 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:09 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by ND4SPD
Sorry to hear dude. Hang in there, keep yourself busy. Buy the RC somethin', she'll love ya for it



PS....does this mean you're coming to Grattan now?
The hardest times are after work and now. All day I am really busy so it only bothers me here and there. This is the 1st time in 2 1/2 yrs that we didnt talk for a whole day so its kinda still killing me.

Already waiting on my last order from Cal_sportbikes which should have been here today but was delayed till tomorrow.

As for grattan I would love to but who knows now even my vacation is ****ed up right now. Double occupancy 1 person

I dont even know whats truely going to happen yet. Still way way way to early to tell anything
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post #5 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:12 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

dooooode........

been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. almost everyone goes through it at one point in their life time. those who don't can consider themselves lucky.

you saw the warning signs and bailed before it got ugly. i knew the ending, before i even read it, cause i've seen it before. nothing you can do at this point, really. the ball's in her court and once she decides what the dealio is, you calling her is only gonna make it worse. she's pushed you away, because telling you it's over would hurt her too. chances are good, she doesn't know how to tell you. chicks are like that......... she's hoping her subtle actions will send a foggy message that you'll understand. granted: it's a shitty way to do it, but it's a defense mechanism....... you got the hint.....

regardless of what happens, IMHO, you need to start preparing for the worst if she's cutting off all methods of communication. i agree, there's an outside entitiy working here. not positive it's another guy, but perhaps her priorities have changes. (naaa........just kidding. it's another guy!!) (KIDDING!! )

get out with your friends, drink some beers, take the bike out (sober) and enjoy life. she's not the only woman in the world, although she means a lot to you right now. see how things go and maybe she'll surprize you. oh....and no more "f*ck you" text messages either............. chicks hate that too......

buck up little camper.............

Last edited by Rigor; 02-07-2005 at 9:14 PM.
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by TGZ13
The hardest times are after work and now. All day I am really busy so it only bothers me here and there. This is the 1st time in 2 1/2 yrs that we didnt talk for a whole day so its kinda still killing me.

Already waiting on my last order from Cal_sportbikes which should have been here today but was delayed till tomorrow.

As for grattan I would love to but who knows now even my vacation is ****ed up right now. Double occupancy 1 person

I dont even know whats truely going to happen yet. Still way way way to early to tell anything
Work overtime, go work out, cook dinner, re-do your room, do anything to keep yourself busy.
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post #7 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigor
dooooode........

been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. almost everyone goes through it at one point in their life time. those who don't can consider themselves lucky.

you saw the warning signs and bailed before it got ugly. i knew the ending, before i even read it, cause i've seen it before. nothing you can do at this point, really. the ball's in her court and once she decides what the dealio is, you calling her is only gonna make it worse. she's pushed you away, because telling you it's over would hurt her too. chances are good, she doesn't know how to tell you. chicks are like that......... she's hoping her subtle actions will send a foggy message that you'll understand. granted: it's a shitty way to do it, but it's a defense mechanism....... you got the hint.....

regardless of what happens, IMHO, you need to start preparing for the worst if she's cutting off all methods of communication. i agree, there's an outside entitiy working here. not positive it's another guy, but perhaps her priorities have changes. (naaa........just kidding. it's another guy!!) (KIDDING!! )

get out with your friends, drink some beers, take the bike out (sober) and enjoy life. she's not the only woman in the world, although she means a lot to you right now. see how things go and maybe she'll surprize you. oh....and no more "f*ck you" text messages either............. chicks hate that too......

buck up little camper.............
Aint that the truth.

I have been on both ends of the game so I know what she is doing. The coldness was a way to get me to do the dirty work. Only time will tell what will happen, just still so new that its like one big ball of thoughts.

The whole screw you message was kind of a rash decision which I said. I was just was always there no matter the time or place so it pissed me off more then anything else at that point. Just have to keep myself busy and see where the next step brings me. Spring is just around the corner I guess
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post #8 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:22 PM
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

That stinks dude... but it is not an unfamiliar story.

That being said... I hope things work out... IF... you want them to.

The things that I post next are MY observations and apply totally to my life and may or may not have anything to do with your situation... YOU decide.

Mothers love their daughters<---->daughters love their mothers (NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY (same with fathers)) If you get between this you are destined for failure. Parents should be allies... not enemies (no matter how hard this may be).

If you showed her the light... don't be surprised if she goes toward it (or wonders if she missed some lights along the way).

If you love someone... set them free.

Yes I know... Lyrics from a really bad Sting song... But even Sting didn't think that one up.

Quote:
If you love something,

Set it free...

If it comes back, it's yours,

If it doesn't, it never was yours

Life always looks better through bugs on a face shield.
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post #9 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:26 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Dayum that sucks. Overall, I think you dealt with the problem incredibly well. As for advice.....Go to the titty bar as your heart heals......then, search for another fish.
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post #10 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:29 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by cbr99xx
That stinks dude... but it is not an unfamiliar story.

That being said... I hope things work out... IF... you want them to.

The things that I post next are MY observations and apply totally to my life and may or may not have anything to do with your situation... YOU decide.

Mothers love their daughters<---->daughters love their mothers (NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY (same with fathers)) If you get between this you are destined for failure. Parents should be allies... not enemies (no matter how hard this may be).

If you showed her the light... don't be surprised if she goes toward it (or wonders if she missed some lights along the way).

If you love someone... set them free.

Yes I know... Lyrics from a really bad Sting song... But even Sting didn't think that one up.
Ya know what kills me about her mom... I was always nothing but polite and good to her. What can I get you, do you need anything she was just really unhappy with herself and choose to pick on anyone who she felt was better off then her... at least that was my observation over 2 yrs

I always had a thought in the back of my mind that some day she would run away but I guess I was blinded by the way things were to think it wouldnt happen
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post #11 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:31 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

i always knew it as:

If you love something set it free.

if it doesn't come back, hunt it down and make sure you get your CD's back and that car stereo you got her for Christmas and don't forget her brother owes you $20.00 and a flaming bag of dog sheit for her mom would make a touching gift this next year and ..and screw her fat friend that's always bad-mouthing you, cause she can't get her own boyfriend. What's up with that, anyway? and so what if you always wear that shirt she hates...right? it's your shirt and you can wear it anytime you want....right? and..........

ooops..........sorry......... you be OK mang..... keep your chin up!

Last edited by Rigor; 02-07-2005 at 11:16 PM.
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post #12 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:35 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigor
i always knew it as:

If you love something set it free.

if it doesn't come back, hunt it down and make sure you get your CD's back and that car stereo you got her for Christmas and don't forget her brother owes you $20.00 and a flaming bag of dog sheit for her mom would make a touching gift this next year and ..and screw he fat friend that's always bad-mouthing you, cause she can't get her own boyfriend. What's up with that, anyway? and so what if you always wear that shirt she hates...right? it's your shirt and you can wear it anytime you want....right? and..........

ooops..........sorry......... you be OK mang..... keep your chin up!
Thats funny... I needed that, thanks

I think I got the upper hand though... I owe her $2k for the down payment on the RC
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post #13 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:42 PM
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....................see? my magic did work. you be ok. just hang in there........ it makes you that much wiser before entering your next relationship. live and learn..........

remember: It's a great life, as long as you don't weaken. cause the Indians kill the stragglers............ or something like that.........

peace.
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigor
i always knew it as:

If you love something set it free.

if it doesn't come back, hunt it down and make sure you get your CD's back and that car stereo you got her for Christmas and don't forget her brother owes you $20.00 and a flaming bag of dog sheit for her mom would make a touching gift this nect year and ..and screw he fat friend that's always bad-mouthing you, cause she can't get her own boyfriend. What's up with that, anyway? and so what if you always wear that shirt she hates...right? it's your shirt and you can wear it anytime you want....right? and..........

ooops..........sorry......... you be OK mang..... keep your chin up!
Well THAT TOO DAMN IT!!!.... I still want my Bad Co., "Desolation Angels" and Led Zep., "In Through the Out Door" albums back... and that was just my high school/college girlfriend.

As far as my Ex wife goes... If you'll just give me back the MARROW THAT HELPS TO PRODUCE LIFE SUSTAINING BLOOD... I'd be happy.

Life always looks better through bugs on a face shield.
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post #15 of 183 Old 02-07-2005, 9:45 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: The damnedest thing happened this weekend..........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigor
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....................see? my magic did work. you be ok. just hang in there........ it makes you that much wiser before entering your next relationship. live and learn..........

remember: It's a great life, as long as you don't weaken. cause the Indians kill the stragglers............ or something like that.........

peace.
I have been through a fair share of relationships good and bad and have learned something from each and everyone. Life goes on... its just hard to get past the first few humps

Thanks Bro
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