What happened last night? - Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org
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post #1 of 6 Old 02-14-2005, 6:05 AM Thread Starter
 
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What happened last night?

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple
of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them,
a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all
clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when He sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom
mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove,
I left early to go shopping--Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and
sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.
You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that
black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose,
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

>Broken furniture - $85.26
>Hot Breakfast - $4.20
>Red Rose bud -$3.00
>Two Aspirins -$.38

>Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless


Poking the Devil with a stick then running away

Last edited by Cowboy1600; 02-14-2005 at 6:06 AM.
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post #2 of 6 Old 02-14-2005, 11:51 AM
 
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Re: What happened last night?

OMG, that IS priceless.
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post #3 of 6 Old 02-14-2005, 8:10 PM
 
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Re: What happened last night?

Thats funny stuff
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post #4 of 6 Old 02-14-2005, 8:46 PM
 
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Re: What happened last night?

Here's another:

Why I Fired My Secretary...

Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that
morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me ... As it turned
out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I
thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember..The
children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for
the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning,
Boss. Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had
remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said,
"You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday,
let's go to lunch, just you and me. " I said, "By George, that's the
greatest thing I've heard all day. "Let's go!" We went to lunch. We
didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little
place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way
back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day we
don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom."

"Sure!" I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, children, and
dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there...

on the couch...










naked.

Bikes and women - both have nice curves.
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post #5 of 6 Old 02-15-2005, 5:24 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: What happened last night?


Poking the Devil with a stick then running away
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post #6 of 6 Old 02-15-2005, 8:16 AM
 
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Re: What happened last night?

DOH!!

"Wake me when the winter's over......"
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