So after lunch today I'm biting down on what is in retrospect the single most lethal piece of candy a person can chew, a Tootsie Pop. The seemingly harmless little pop broke into glasslike, cherry flavored shards. I immediately detected the copper taste of blood in my mouth. I don't believe I need stitches, but I did some self-diagnosis via Google (the bane of real health care professionals, to be sure) and ran across this hilarious little story...

http://www.ironycentral.com/bin/tipofmytongue.html

So how many licks did it take to get to the center?

This is exactly why I use Super Glue, baling wire, twine and 50# test SpiderWire fishing line right before wiring the jaws together and implanting a zipper into the patient's lips whenever I see a tongue bite.

So Chain, sorry to hear of your mishap. I have an opening next week. PM me if you want the spot. I'll also give you a deep discount if you want anesthesia.

Well, this wasn't stitch worthy, but I was at the dentist a few weeks ago getting an old filling replaced with new filler. The dentist was checking my bite with a small piece of paper I was told to bite down on. I heard this popping noise. A few seconds later the dentist started chatting with the assistant about how I had just bit my lip. That popping noise was my lip exploding.. Fun fun fun..

owwwww...

Right now I'm trying to figure out which story I'm more amused with. Fig's busted lip, or the story Chain posted about the poor guy's tongue.

Now watch - I'm laughing at everyone's mishaps - I'll end up next in line for the stitches.

"Like a giant nerve" I recommend he not try an eyelid

When I was 16, I bit completely through my tongue. It was about one inch back from the tip and almost the full width. Everyone said it would heal fine, and it did. Only it was forked sideways. I could stick my tongue out and hook the tip in the corner of my mouth. I must have made 20 people throw up in the lunch room at school. The worst part was getting it cut open to sew back together. I could hear the doctor sawing on my tongue.