For us gun nuts...
I dug this up from circa '97, its scary how many I could answer "true" to.
You might be a gun nut if :
If you ever seriously thought about dabbing a little Hoppe's #9 on your
neck before going out on a date, you just might be a gun nut.
If you buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the
barrel is 1/2" shorter (longer), you just might be a gun nut.
If you ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you
cleaned it last, you just might be a gun nut.
If you ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no gun, because
you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber, you just be be
a gun nut.
if you have so many guns that you can't name them all, you might be a gun
if you own two guns of the same model----just in case-----you might be a
if you know what a chrono is, you might be a gun nut.
if you have an inverted milk jug mounted on your reloader because you need
the extra powder capacity, you might be a gun nut.
If the only magazines in your john are "Shotgun News" and "The Blue
Press," you might be a firearms enthusiast.
You might be a gun nut if _you_ call your local store to tell _them_
where they can get a hard-to-find item, and then they piggyback their
small order onto your larger one.
If you go to a gun show and contemplate buying a particular gun for a
half an hour before you remember you already have that one....
If you buy a gun that is a duplicate of one you already have because
the original one might break someday....
If you have more .50 cal ammo cans than the U.S. government....
If you have to run out to the range this weekend to shoot up some ammo
because you need some brass to reload...
If Lake City goes on alert if you're seen driving down Missouri 7, you
might be a gunnut.
If Federal sends you Christmas cards and the wife Flowers on your
Anniversiary, you might be a gunnut.
If Sierra goes on double shifts when you place your order, you might be
When in church, after the collection plate is passed, the usher has to
pick out .22 shells you had mixed in with your change, you might be a
If your primary cubicle decoration at work is your best target groups,
you might be a gunnut. (Hey I can relate to this one!)
If you've removed your HOOTERS calendar and replaced it with a
Remington, you might be a gunnut.
If your Fajen stock displaced a spotted owl from it's home, you might be
If you have considered moving the TV outside so you have room for another
gun safe, you just might be a gun nut.
If your mantra is "Buy them all!", you just might be a gun nut.
If you read "rec.guns" before your morning coffee, you might be a gun nut.
If you make all combinations to locks into
things like 223, 357, 380, 308, 243, etc.
You practice your draw when walking along
a path at work and scare someone (unarmed - like air guitar)
You take out your ammo and arrange different rounds
in a pretty little row.
You are really nuts when you ask your teenage daughter
to look at it, so you can explain stopping power to her.
(She said - I love you my nusto daddy - but no thanks).
Your reloading bench is made of better wood than your bedroom set.
If your car has a bumper sticker that reads "My wife - yes, my car -
maybe, my gun - NEVER! then you might just be a gun nut
"I got a gun for my wife. It was a good trade."
You consider naming your unborn child Winchester
Your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually
When you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of
your rolled-up sleves.
When you go to the magazine rack, you check the
Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as
compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what
it is offering.
It takes you several minutes leafing through Small Arms of the World
to find a gun you have never fired.
You have a callus on your shoulder.
You've ever sent a scope (that was never dropped) back to Leupold for
Factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.
Hornady's largest midwestern distributor informs you that you've
bought over half of all the Vector ammo they've ever had in stock.
Your standard Sunday-afternoon question to guys selling surplus ammo
at gun shows is "How much for all of it, so you don't have to lug it
You shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis
with your local scrap metal dealer.
You are on a first-name basis with every major tire shop owner within
a 25-mile radius.
Upon seeing your 1978 wildcatting project (a .375 on a .50 Sharps
3 1/4" case, 3340 FPS with a 300 Sierra boattail), Elmer Keith says
Keith Francis (at JGS, the chambering reamer company), answers your
phone calls "What have you dreamed up *this* time?"
You own a firearm listed in the Guinness book.
You go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better,
shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever
heard. (Happened to a friend, not to me!) ;-)
You're in the army reserves, and they can't figure out why every time
they send you out to shoot the M60 with 100 rounds, you return with a
shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own
you own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet
If you read 300-400 messages on rec.guns every day, in addition to
being subscribed to the Glock, SIG, HK, Kahr, Tactics, IPSC, and IDPA
mailing lists, and you *still* wish there was more to do in the
Internet firearms community, you just might be a gun nut.
You carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to
show off your "babies".
If you spend more on ammo each month than on food.
If your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
If you list your local FFL dealer as a dependent on your tax return.
If a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you
drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.
If you alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they
look prettier that way.
If you guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
If you name your first-born boy MAK90.
If you name your first-born girl LadySmith.
If your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.
If it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl
If your key-ring fob is a converted .50BMG cartridge.
If your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles"
If you watch La Femme Nikita just to see the HK MP5s.
If "Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
If the highlight of your week is discovering that 6 .40SW hollowpoints fit
perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
If you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake
If you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
If your favorite NBA team is the Boston KelTecs.
If your wife wants to wear black leather so you buy her a carry holster.
You have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.
Your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
You can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say
You would like to see Bill Clinton or Barbara Boxer spend even one hour
after midnight at a Washington, DC bus-stop without their bodyguards.
you go to three different gun shows within a month and your excited
every single time.
you're guns are cleaner than your house/apartment.
you have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
4 local gun shops know you by name.
you're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those
when you stop in, the ask you questions like "how was work?", "how's
the wife and kids", "we're gonna order some food, ya want in?", etc.
you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun
List, Guns & Ammo, etc...
if you're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun
News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.
if you bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones
from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian,
Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
if you're phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc.
relates to some kind of bullet caliber...ON PURPOSE.
if you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc.
with tight groups that you have shot.
if you can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. everyday until a new
issues comes out.
if you tag pages in SGN/GL for later reference...
if you own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
if you own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different
manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.)
just because you can.
if the last 5 guns you bought are never to be fired.
if you'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather
than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
if you preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work
in a predominatly ANTI-gun company.
if you spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as
well as holsters, and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will
The custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear
shift knob is a .50 BMG.
Your girlfrind thinks that aura of Hoppies #9 is your favorite after
You have guns in your safe that you can't for the life of you remember
how you came by.
You consider it a point of honor to only buy factory ammo if you need
When you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball",
257 you think "Roberts", 218 "Bee", 4570 "government" etc., etc. and
Your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your
state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered
If u go to the SHOT SHOW and don't notice the MODELS in BIKINIS
because HK is releasing a NEW Handgun.
You buy a .25 Beretta to keep inside your Bible cover. Everybody
needs a "hideout church gun".
You look in your dealer's used gun case, and most of them once
belonged to you.
If you have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on
your wifes engagement ring.