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post #1 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 9:47 AM Thread Starter
 
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Pilots vs Mechanics

Oldie but goodie.
Quote:
It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'Pilots
(marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By
Maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minutedescent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And The Best One For Last !!

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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post #2 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 10:03 AM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

Saw something like this when I was wrenching on Hornets in the Marines. We enlisted guys never missed an opportunity to remind our pilots about who really makes the plane fly.
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post #3 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 10:35 AM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevilDawg
Saw something like this when I was wrenching on Hornets in the Marines. We enlisted guys never missed an opportunity to remind our pilots about who really makes the plane fly.
Big Oil?
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post #4 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

I almost fell of the chair.... Thanks. I needed that...
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post #5 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 12:00 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

That was great! "Took hammer from midget"
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post #6 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 12:01 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

Yes those are good.

Too bad it doesn't take a degree to be an airline pilot...pretty much only US (and maybe other countries, dunno) military pilots require one (and it wasn't always that way either).



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post #7 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 12:57 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

first time on ANY forum! great to join a group with a sense of humor.
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post #8 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

More Inland Empire.

Welcome!



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post #9 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 1:46 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

Quote:
Originally Posted by booracer
first time on ANY forum! great to join a group with a sense of humor.
Uh oh... look out!

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post #10 of 10 Old 06-21-2006, 3:25 PM
 
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Re: Pilots vs Mechanics

Quote:
Originally Posted by booracer
first time on ANY forum! great to join a group with a sense of humor.
Dang!!! Lots of riders in Califlowernia!!!
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