Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test - Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org
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post #1 of 12 Old 11-12-2006, 5:28 PM Thread Starter
 
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Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

  • Ask your observer if he wants to race.
  • Wear a diaper.
  • Urinate all over the outside of the cup, and then refuse to wash your hands with anything accept antibacterial soap.
  • Inquire about a "take home cup."
  • Get your privates stuck in your zipper.
  • After four-and-a-half hours of holding it, pee so hard you knock the cup out of your hand.
  • When the nurse asks you to witness the cup being empty, insist that you have to stick your finger in there to "check it out for yourself."
  • When they call your name, walk to the counter looking really concerned. Calmly explain to the nurse that you haven't studied for this test, and want to know if there's any extra credit.
  • Put some water in your boot before the test. When you get to the peeing part, take off your boot, pour it into the cup, and shamefully say that you just couldn't wait.
  • Ask the observer to slap you on your rear-end a few times, just to get things going for you.
  • Bring a drink umbrella for your cup.
  • Since this person has probably seen a lot of people pee, ask him how you measure up.
  • Before you start, self-check for hernias (turn, cough, etc...)
  • Wear a condom.
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post #2 of 12 Old 11-12-2006, 5:32 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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post #3 of 12 Old 11-12-2006, 5:59 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

Drink beet juice the day before. looks like blood. they freaked at my last all hands reserve drill when i took the quiz. I make the juice with my juice man.

Aliens general, everything about them is alien!
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post #4 of 12 Old 11-12-2006, 6:28 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

jeez when I take them I try not to piss all over the cup or shoot the damn thing out of my hand cause I know I have handle that thing before I hand it over to the nurse.

if you can't convince them, confuse them.
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post #5 of 12 Old 11-12-2006, 6:34 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

instead of pissing all over the cup if you want to see them puke..leave a log in a cup for them
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post #6 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 10:21 AM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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Originally Posted by JBODIE View Post
  • Ask the observer to slap you on your rear-end a few times, just to get things going for you.
  • Wear a condom.
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post #7 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 11:00 AM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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instead of pissing all over the cup if you want to see them puke..leave a log in a cup for them
That's just wrong....
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post #8 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 11:18 AM
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

Eat a bunch of asparagus the night before...the smell will knock 'em out!

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post #9 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 11:25 AM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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post #10 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 1:31 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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Drink beet juice the day before. looks like blood. they freaked at my last all hands reserve drill when i took the quiz. I make the juice with my juice man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Rider View Post
Eat a bunch of asparagus the night before...the smell will knock 'em out!
Mix the two and really have them thinking


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post #11 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 2:07 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

I guess there's nothing inovative about abstaining when looking for a job eh?

I don't have a big problem when people use the drugs of their choice. My problem is with people who can't seem to stop when everything (read your livelyhood) is on the line (No pun intended).

If you can't stop long enough to get the job that is going to pay for your habit and food, you're in too deep. And that goes double for alkies because all they have to do is abstain for a little more than 24 hours and they pass.

Ride Red
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post #12 of 12 Old 11-13-2006, 3:08 PM
 
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Re: Innovative Ways to Deal With a Random Drug Test

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Originally Posted by nedro View Post
I guess there's nothing inovative about abstaining when looking for a job eh?

I don't have a big problem when people use the drugs of their choice. My problem is with people who can't seem to stop when everything (read your livelyhood) is on the line (No pun intended).

If you can't stop long enough to get the job that is going to pay for your habit and food, you're in too deep. And that goes double for alkies because all they have to do is abstain for a little more than 24 hours and they pass.
You're right, but I don't think the list was intended as ways to beat the test, just poking fun because pretty much everyone has to take one at some point.
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