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post #1 of 32 Old 11-16-2006, 8:55 PM Thread Starter
 
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Ohio State vs. Michigan

Personally I couldn't care less, but some of these are pretty funny.

Quote:
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear aMichigan joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should knowsomething. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate.The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a MichiganGraduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also aMichigan graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it threetimes"
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It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr will only bedressing 20 players for the Ohio State game ...the rest of the playerswill have to dress themselves!
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Did you hear that the University of Michigan library burned to theground?

All five books in the library were completely destroyed....the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored intwo of the books yet!
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What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
Columbus: 187 Miles
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What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
Drool
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How do you get a Michigan Graduate off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza
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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU grad, aMichigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad.Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. Asthey climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the mostloyal of all.They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Damegrad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for thefighting Irish!" Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad
threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the NittanyLions!" Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is forthe Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.
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What did the Michigan grad say to the OSU grad?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day ofwork.The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave hima broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store.""But, I'm a Michigan graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "Ieven played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give methe broom, I'd better show you how."
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Two Michigan football players were hootin' and hollerin' whilepartying on campus when a bartender asked them why they werecelebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished ajigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months.

"Two months?!"exclaimed the bartender.
The Wolverine proudly replied, "Yeah, thebox said 4 - 6 years!"
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A Wolverine football player was almost killed today in a tragichorseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearlytrampled to death.Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out anunplugged the horse just in time.
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A little boy and his mother were walking through a Michigan cemetery,when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies a Michigangraduate and a good man."
The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people inthere?"
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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talkingabout the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand.Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp.

"Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did.
"You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Lloyd offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built aroundthe entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid Ohioans canever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high,and Iwant it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have ourpeace!" The genie grants the wish to Lloyd and his is instantly whiskedaway to his new paradise.

The genie now tells Jim he'll grant him onewish.
Jim says, "Fill it up with water."
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Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
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What are the three longest years of a Michigan football player'slife?

His freshman year.
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We Ohio State fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Michigan fan we see strutting down the street with that obnoxious maze & blue "M" on his shirt. We would swerve our vans as if to hit them, and then swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed so I pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Michigan fan walking down the road, with that "M" shirt on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Michigan fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
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It is late in the OSU-Michigan game on an overcast day. Michigan has the ball on the OSU 3, with 2 seconds left, and down 14-10. There is time for one more play. Lloyd Carr calls timeout. As the team is coming to the sideline, Lloyd looks to the heavens and says, "God - I've been a good man. A church going man. I've tried to do what's right and I've never asked you for anything. But, this is a big game and if I could get a little guidance, I would be forever grateful".

The clouds part, the sun shines on Lloyd and he hears a voice bellow "I Right 39 Pitch Trap". Lloyd can't believe it! God himself gave him the play! It'll work for sure. The team comes to the sideline and Lloyd excitedly gives them the play.

The timeout ends and the teams come back on the field. Lloyd can barely contain his excitement - he's going to win. Play resumes and the ball is snapped. The Michigan QB pitches to the back. For a split second, there's a hole - which is quickly filled by Laurinaitis, who tackles the Michigan back short of the goal line. Time expires and Ohio State players storm the field to celebrate.

Lloyd is in shock - he can't believe the play didn't work. Lloyd looks to the heavens and cries, "God - why did you call THAT play?" God looks down, shrugs, turns to his right and says, "Woody - why did we call that play?"
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post #2 of 32 Old 11-16-2006, 9:07 PM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan




Can we make this interesting? Would it be legal to arrange some kind of wager in which the supporters of the losing team had to donate some bucks to the RoadRacing World Airfence fund, or the Art Schlister home for wayward OSU quarterbacks or something?
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post #3 of 32 Old 11-16-2006, 9:11 PM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

And the smack begins.......

I can't wait for the game.
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post #4 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 12:30 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Quote:
Originally Posted by CBRVFR View Post


Can we make this interesting? Would it be legal to arrange some kind of wager in which the supporters of the losing team had to donate some bucks to the RoadRacing World Airfence fund, or the Art Schlister home for wayward OSU quarterbacks or something?
Don't forget the Maurice Clarett bail fund...
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post #5 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 12:38 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Going to watch the game at a buddies this weekend.
Went down to Penn State to tailgate the UofM game this year.
Should be a real good game. The deciding factor will be Mich D and the @uckeyes O. Who ever wins there will win the game.




No matter who wins we all have to go to work on monday and both football teams have typing classes at noon.

There are some who call me ............................Tim
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post #6 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 5:30 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

The reality is, this is the defacto National Championship game. Regardless how the BCS manages to get Southern Cal into the BSC Champ game, these are far and away the best two teams in the nation. Which, considering the tradition of this rivalry, make this probably the best college football game in modern history.

At least Meeshigan will be able to say, "Hey, our only loss in '06 came to the eventaul National Champions!"
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post #7 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 6:45 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Quote:
Originally Posted by bwhip View Post
Don't forget the Maurice Clarett bail fund...
Or the "Woody Hayes Boxing League"
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post #8 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 6:53 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Quote:
Originally Posted by bwhip View Post
Don't forget the Maurice Clarett bail fund...
Or the Chris Webber timeout fund.
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post #9 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 8:57 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

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Originally Posted by BladeRider View Post
Or the Chris Webber timeout fund.


Personally I don't care who wins, I am just looking for a great game after I watch Wisconsin beat the hell out of...Buffalo? Who made the Badger's schedule this year? Don't get me wrong, they are a good team, but #9 in the nation? Nope. Top 20 probably though.

<Threadjack complete>


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post #10 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 9:09 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

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Originally Posted by Kuss929 View Post
No matter who wins we all have to go to work on monday and both football teams have typing classes at noon.



Or court-ordered community service...
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post #11 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 9:12 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Who's OSU and Michigan?


Go ND!!!!
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post #12 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 9:16 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

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Originally Posted by FrenchieR6 View Post
Who's OSU and Michigan?


Go ND!!!!
Where do you want him to go?

Anyway, I thought you rooted for the University of Montreal Surrender Monkeys.


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post #13 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 9:20 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

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Originally Posted by CBRVFR View Post
Where do you want him to go?

Anyway, I thought you rooted for the University of Montreal Surrender Monkeys.


and you know what their colors are right?




WHITE
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post #14 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 9:46 AM
 
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

I have no care for either team, but this game has all the makings of a very good show. Any rivalry is always good, regardless of rankings. But add both the #1 and #2 to the mix and it gets even better.
I'll be watching.

And for the record, I'll be rooting for Michigan for no other reason than I think Troy Smith is far too overrated for all the Heisman hype. Ohio State loses, and his hype diminishes drastically.
Just personal opinion.

Last edited by BDA116; 11-17-2006 at 7:52 PM.
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post #15 of 32 Old 11-17-2006, 12:16 PM
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Re: Ohio State vs. Michigan

On a sadder note...Bo Schembechler just died today from a heart attack...

"It is better to post and risk reposting than to have never posted at all."




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