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post #1 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 9:59 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Dilemma

I have a problem and the simple Pro's & Con's list sin't helping. Maybe someone has some insight or hindsight they can share.

I've been offered a job with a large company in my field. This would double my salary, but involve a large amount of travel. My first instinct is to take it, my wife will be able to stay home with our daughter, and I'll have normal hours except when travelling, (they say twice a month to Asia & Europe mostly).

But, I like what I do now. I have a lot of freedom to take a day every now and then and go to the track. I'll wind up spending less time at home. My store will not survive without me and will close.

I want to spend more time at home with my family, but I want my wife to be happy. I'll practically give up track riding or at least reduce the times I can go significantly. That seems a little selfish, but I haven't taken a vacation since my honeymoon 7 years ago, other than a day here and there and I really love motrorcycling. It's something for just me to enjoy and the 20 minutes commuting on it make a huge difference in my day. I would, however; cover the bike in barbecue sauce and eat it if it would benefit my family. On one hand I let down my employees and customers,(freinds) and sacrifice some personal freedom for the benefit of my wife. I haven't spoken to her yet, because I want to let her know what I want and explain myself well in case we don't agree.

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post #2 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 10:09 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

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BillAce : I would, however; cover the bike in barbecue sauce and eat it if it would benefit my family.
Ha Ha. *Never heard that one before.

Sounds like a tough choice. *Here are my thoughts:

1. I understand not wanting to let down your employees or customers, however, you have to do what is best for you and your family. *They CAN NOT play a roll in your decision. *

2. From a different thread you mentioned that you work 12 hour days and have a long commute. *You spend the mornings w/ your daughter, and your wife gets the 'tub time'. *While you and your wife are at work, your daughter is at daycare. *To me, it doesn't sound like you are spending much time w/ her right now. *If the new job has you traveling 2 weeks out of the month, will the other 2 weeks allow you to be home more than you are currently, WHILE Mom is home w/ your daughter all the time? *That sounds like an okay deal to me. *Maybe not best for you or your wife (having you away so much), but sounds like it could be best for your daughter. *

My .02. *Good luck w/ your decision. *

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post #3 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 10:11 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

WEll ya did a good job with us. Now go talk to her.

Ya need to do what is important to all of you and it has to be a joint decision with you both. If you take the promotion how is she going to feel about you being gone? What about your attitude changes cause you can't ride as much or do the type of riding you want? Being away is hard on the family, being in the military I can attest to that one. Talk to the wife, lay the things out that you did with us. At first the money looks pleasing but with that cash comes the responsibility and dedication the company will expect in return.

Good luck with this. It is tough. I just made the decision to move away from my children for work. Now, talk about tough.
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post #4 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 10:12 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Talk to her first.... From what you explained it seem that there is more benefit for you to keep your actual job (salary apart) If she is happy the way it is now I don't see why you should change anything? One thing for sure is that your decision will affect both of you big time, so I think you should talk to her first.

Good luck!

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post #5 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 10:13 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

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Mojave954 : *At first the money looks pleasing but with that cash comes the responsibility and dedication the company will expect in return. *
This is a good point. IF you are making things work now, and you enjoy working for yourself, there may not be a reason to change anything.

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post #6 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 10:17 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

My own personal opinion is that I would never sacrafice happiness for money. If you derive happiness from family time, you should not sacrafice it to make more money since money won't be able to take your place at home. Since the travel will be to Europe/Asia, you will basically be out of the family loop for those two weeks due to the time differences of at least 6 hours. That can strain a marriage.

Me, personally, I wouldn't do it....In my case, it's just not worth missing the day to day family interaction that makes my life fun and rewarding for me. Not to mention the lack of seat time. It just isn't worth it for me.

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post #7 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 11:51 AM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Youch!! That sure is a tough choice. For me, I would much rather make less money doing someting I love. I have had a few high paying jobs in fields that were less appealing to me. Just so happens that my job now pays well and I love it. As far as traveling goes, my dad travles A LOT, and is never home for more then two weeks at a time. I can tell you that it sucks not being able to do things that we used to do before he got his promotion. When he is on travel both my mother and I are always worried what might go wrong, if anyhting at all. He does most of his traveling to Japan, Korea, Netherlands, Spain, and a bunch inside the U.S. The best thing is to make up a list of pros and cons and discuss it with your wife. Good luck with your decsion.

Dano

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post #8 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 12:00 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Being on the road can be tough on the family. Like someone said, when you're in Asia, you basically don't exist to them other than a phone call.

I work in a field where guys travel all over, some very frequently. For some it works out great, for others, not so great. It will depend on your wife, and how much you like the travel yourself.

You'll get nice benefits too. Vacation time from your company, plenty of frequent flier miles to take trips, free rental cars, free hotel rooms...all nice little perks from travel.




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post #9 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 12:08 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Money isn't everything. If you guys are happy with what you have, stick with it. If anything, try to hire some part time help to help you run the business so you can spend more time with your daughter. If you were single, I'd say go for it, but you have a family to care for. Do whatever's gonna keep you guys happy/together

Best of luck, let us know how things work out
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post #10 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 1:01 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Definitely talk it over with your wife. Everyone has mentioned good points. You're told traveling 2x per month...depending upon how lengthy of a trip it would be could be the determining factor. You could be traveling 10 business days at a time @ 2x per month...that would leave you with not much home time.

Tough decision but if I had that decision to make, I'd pass. At this point in my life I wouldn't sacrifice my personal time and life for work.
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post #11 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 1:22 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

Bill - Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

If I'm understanding you correctly, this move would allow your wife to stay at home and raise your Kid(s)? Without taking a financial hit? *That's a powerful argument for doing it. My wife gave up teaching to raise our three kids, and they'll forever thank her. It was a huge factor in their confidence, academic success, creativity, and current world view / values.

We ate it financially, and I worked 12 hour days in retail and manufacturing. In a sense, I never got many two week periods in which the sh!t wasn't hitting the fan to be with them in a more concentrated way. So I had to grab every opportunity I could, and guess what? It all worked out.

Would your taking this position qualify or enable you to take a better career path with less travel and more flexibility in a couple of years? *

And as far as your customers and employees, you could either sell your shop to one of them or, as HD says, fuggedaboudit. When I sold off and closed my retail stores, my 'partner' of ten years to whom I had given equity basically disappeared after I gave her the recommendation that got her next job. Life goes on.




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post #12 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 3:55 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

On one hand time is worth more than money. You can never get back time not spent with your kids. And it's far better to have free time while you are young and can do something with it. On the other hand absence makes the heart grow fonder. If your wife would be able to spend more time wih the kids while you are away that might be a plus. I have a job now where I have a lot of free time and not much money. I find it harder and harder to keep myself entertained. I would probably go for the more money side of things right now but it's like the others have said. You have to discuss it with the wife and come to a decision that suits you both. Good luck.

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post #13 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 4:20 PM
 
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Re: Dilemma

There's been alot of good points here. One big one is your wife being able to stay home with the kids. That is invaluable in my opinion. On the other hand traveling can get very tedious... For the first 5 years of my marriage I was on travel at least 50% of the time. It became very old. You're ALWAYS running...either to the airport or trying to get stuff done in the time your home. It's very hectic. There are 'perks' that come with travel though...the free hotels, ff miles, cars etc..that will be helpful for vacations etc. This will be a hard decision that you should sit down and go through the pros and cons with your wife. I myself got a job where I don't have to travel as much when the kids were born, but my wife also has the opportunity to stay at home with the kids also....Good Luck!!!

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post #14 of 14 Old 10-29-2003, 4:43 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Dilemma

Thanks for the suggestions. We are going to talk tonight, I have an extra 1/2 hour with the babysitter. That of course reminded me of another concern. My sister in law watches my daughter and her 2 kids. Their family needs the money I pay her and it's double what she took home from her last job. Th main reason my wife works if for the excellent health benefits. If I had to buy my own, it would not cover much or be real expensive. It's definitely not a financial necessity, I think it would just be that much more we could put away for Jillian. I'll let you know how it goes...

Bill
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