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post #1 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 11:45 AM Thread Starter
 
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New driving licence test, please fill in.

NEW CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S TEST

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you
who do, study real hard.

This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique
in California, you may not have realized that the California
Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and
driver's test solely for the California area.

2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION

Name: ___________________ Stage Name:__________________

Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________

Therapist's Name: _________________

Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female*
[ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both

*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operat! e a
motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________ _______
(Use extra pages, if necessary)

Please check hair color:Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading

Please in! dicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your
car on the news in a high- speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per
week: ________
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above*

* If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more

* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
m! eans:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge





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post #2 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

that is to funny

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post #3 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

hahaha, that is awesome....
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post #4 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 4:44 PM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

Loool.

Shame they don't have that over here!

"Second is the first of the losers..."
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post #5 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 4:57 PM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

Brilliant

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post #6 of 9 Old 11-20-2008, 6:16 PM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

It is really too bad there is almost complete truth to it. That is what makes it so humorous.
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post #7 of 9 Old 11-21-2008, 9:56 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

maybe we should create one in respect to each area we hail from




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post #8 of 9 Old 11-23-2008, 5:55 AM
 
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

My would be something about 'sheep' probably, BEFORE any of you bugga's say it!!

Do, or do not, there is no try !
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post #9 of 9 Old 11-23-2008, 6:20 AM
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Re: New driving licence test, please fill in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzy View Post
My would be something about 'sheep' probably, BEFORE any of you bugga's say it!!
Something??

SOMETHING!!....

ALL about SHEEP!*

*maybe, add the odd touch of malicious harmonised singing & a touch of playing with funny-shaped balls!

As long as I fall, I don't hit the ground. As long as I fall, I'm safe & sound.
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