Need advice/opinions on problem with sister - Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org
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Confront her 7 77.78%
Ignore the issue 1 11.11%
Plan on not seeing her again 1 11.11%
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post #1 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 2:11 PM Thread Starter
 
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Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

OK, for those that have the time, I need some help...

My sister had her baby in Oct. My wife and I are now expecting. We were planning to go to my parents house on Xmas eve, the first time we would be able to do that in years. We were excited as we would finally be able to see my new niece. Well, my wife is on one of those pregnancy bulletin board groups and hears about this great birth story on another board. She reads it and finds this:
"Mixed feelings: ESIL Update (and does this qualify as a vent?)"

OK, that is my SISTER that is writing this...

WTF?

My wife has been keeping this in for days, not being able to eat and crying all the time. Her mom finally made her tell me about it.

So... I called my mom... she doesn't know anything about it which is not unexpected. So I tell her in vague terms that essentially there is bad **** about my wife, my unborn child, myself and my whole freaking family. Her response is that this is a private place where she can go to vent and talk and essentially treat it like a journal. Well, then I get mad.

So, I ask of you... Is the bulletin board a private place where you would write things like that about your family? Obviously not too private if my wife heard about the story and had no idea it was my sister until she started reading it.

So, now what do I do?
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post #2 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 2:17 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Looks like the original post was removed

EDIT: I don't know what it said, but in most cases the best thing to do is for you to confront her about it and ask what the deal is.

To answer your question about a bulletin board being a "journal"....no way, absolutely not. Journal's are private and generally for the owner's eyes only. A bulletin board is there for the whole world to see!

Last edited by ND4SPD; 12-20-2003 at 2:19 PM.
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post #3 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 2:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by ND4SPD
Looks like the original post was removed

EDIT: I don't know what it said, but in most cases the best thing to do is for you to confront her about it and ask what the deal is.

To answer your question about a bulletin board being a "journal"....no way, absolutely not. Journal's are private and generally for the owner's eyes only. A bulletin board is there for the whole world to see!

Hmm, it was just removed... interesting development.
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post #4 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 2:26 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

if you never confront her, you will always wonder and always have bad blood between you 2 and it will never get resolved.
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post #5 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 3:14 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Without being able to read it, it sounds like someone is jealous. Go there and have a good time. Your sister will just poop when she sees you and your misses there. That should be worth an E-ticket. Maybe wear a nice Tee shirt that says "Some sisters suck!".
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post #6 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 3:30 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Without knowing what she initially posted, I would also say it sounds like she is either jealous of your wife and family, or very insecure about her place in the family.
That said, to answer your question, a message board is nothing like a journal. She is making accusations/sharing feelings in a very public place where not only a few people can read them, but anyone with internet access.
Maybe your mom doesn't understand just what a board is, but she is wrong on this. Your sister slung mud very openly and publicly. Confront her on it.
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post #7 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:22 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Damn, that is some wacked out stuff! I agree with everyone else, your mom's take on it is wrong. While we all vent on the board about our jobs and stuff that we don't mind anyone reading, a forum is no place to start getting into particulars about how you dislike your family. Especially if those feelings aren't known by the family and it isn't common knowledge.

Your sister crossed the line. Plain and simple. If she needed to chat about it with people on the bard the PM's would have been the way to go (or email).

BTW, you probably already know this, but women can come up with the strangest ideas. I read through a couple of the posts and the women were talking about other family members scheduling their trip to the parents at the same time as them "just so they can take the spotlight away" from some kid. Please, I think most adults have more things to worry about than whose kid is getting the attention from the grandparents.

My wife and one of her friends didn't talk to each other for 3 months. You know why? No reason. They both thought the other one was mad at them and were sitting there trying to figure out what they could have possibly done to make the other person mad. Rather than just ask the other person if they were mad they chose to just not talk to each other. Finally the other woman's husband and I (who are friends and work together) forced them to call each other on the subject since we had already figured out that nobody was mad at anybody. Women....
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post #8 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:23 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Yes, confrontation is sounding better...I have the posts printed out but the highlights are where she calls my unborn child "the spawn of satan." And where she accuses my wife of "trying to steal the spotlight" from their new child; a baby we have never seen. This from a person who when you are around her doesn't let you get a word in. When she is around, I spend my time sitting reading a magazine because I can't talk.

Whoop, I'm getting pissed again...
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post #9 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:38 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by lfg929
Women....
That probably sums it up...
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post #10 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:38 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

I was just thinking, wouldn't it be ironic if your sister found this thread somehow?

I say only confront her if it would make your wife feel better... After all do you really care if your sister's breaking herself out of jealousy? :give****:

Last edited by DRider; 12-20-2003 at 4:41 PM.
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post #11 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:40 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Confront her about it.

Good or bad at least get it out in the open, find out where it all stems from. there may be a simple missunderstanding which has escalated to a big drama.

If she holds a grudge, you have nothing to loose by approaching her about it, but you may be able to solve things.

Do unto others, before some prick does it to you!

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post #12 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 4:41 PM
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by TraumaOne
Yes, confrontation is sounding better...I have the posts printed out but the highlights are where she calls my unborn child "the spawn of satan." And where she accuses my wife of "trying to steal the spotlight" from their new child; a baby we have never seen. This from a person who when you are around her doesn't let you get a word in. When she is around, I spend my time sitting reading a magazine because I can't talk.

Whoop, I'm getting pissed again...
Wow, dude, that sounds terrible. I'm 100% convinced that some women are whacked in the head.....they think everyone is out to get them and undermine/destroy them. This isn't meant as an insult on your sister, but she sounds like she may have a slight hint of this disease. Definitely confront her and get to the bottom of this. Just know that the outcome may not be pretty. One of those being that you might not ever see or talk to her again....although it sounds like you don't see her very much to begin with.

Best of luck, I hope it works out for the better. I'll keep the situation in my prayers
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post #13 of 13 Old 12-20-2003, 5:54 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Need advice/opinions on problem with sister

Hmm, I posted on their site but they didn't seem to appreciate it very much... Banned already

Those ****ers
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