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post #1 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 6:44 AM Thread Starter
 
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Great New MotoGP News Source

Lots of great content here including an article on Suzuki's V6 project, with pics, and a great interview with Colin...

MotoGP News



Not Certified Kitten Safe.....read this thread at your own risk.

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post #2 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 8:12 AM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

Quote:
Sparky, the bike riding parrot (click here for story), has officially turned down the offer of riding the ZX-RR next year. In an official statement to the press Sparky repeatedly said "The bike is shite! The bike is shite!" in-between chewing his owner's ear.

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post #3 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 8:56 AM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

at least they are honest there
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post #4 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 12:18 PM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

Pretty funny stuff. For a moment, I thought they were legit. 33BHP!
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post #5 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 12:25 PM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

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V6 Suzuki rumour
Will Suzuki break the 33bhp barrier?


The fresh news breaking from the Suzuki MotoGP factory is that they're in progress building a brand new V6 engine to replace their current V4 lump and could be ready as soon as June next year - although in reality that means we won't se it until 2005.

A couple of extra cylinders, new technology and a rethink of the design could see the new engine push and break the physiological barrier of 33bhp. Such a leap in power could see them break away from the other nails in MotoGP and, in theory, only get lapped twice by the Honda's on some of the bigger tracks.


A V4 legend. Suzuki are hoping their new V6 will be even better.
"We're keeping this quiet for the moment." explained an insider at the Suzy factory "But it's fair to say that we're all very excited at the prospect of this superb powerplant. Just when you thought Suzuki had nothing left to prove in MotoGP we go and push the envelope yet further."

The initial designs of the V6 engine were said to have used the unusual configuration of having one cylinder facing forward and five at the back using 132 degree 'V'. However this initial design was branded as 'a bit half-witted' by the chief designer so Suzuki reverted back to their 90 degree angled 'V'.

However such power will have a downside as if the 33bhp barrier is indeed broken the GSV-R will not be eligable to ridden by bikers who have just passed their test on a restricted licence. A way round this problem maybe to introduce restrictor kits for the bike immediately - however Suzuki's current restrictor kits, which involve pouring grit into the cylinder head to cause extra friction, have been publicly criticised by motorcycle mechanics.
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post #6 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 12:33 PM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

'nother winner

Quote:
Saddam Captured
His future with HRC in ruins.

The man you tipped to most suitable to fill the vacant seat at Honda (click here for story) was captured in an underground rabbit hutch yesterday by the yanks which has effectively ruined his chances of riding the RCV next year.


Miffed. The HRC contract goes up in smoke.
HRC, influenced by your voting, were said to be 'reasonably interested' in securing the talents of the former Iraqi dictator but only under the strict condition that he could complete a full season without being hanged. Now that he is in custody this condition cannot convincingly be met.
Furthermore the American government seem adamant in not allowing Saddam 'day release' to compete in the premier motorcycling world championship claiming he may bare a grudge against the American riders.


This double body blow spells more bad news for Saddam who's definitely having a week to forget.

The UK prime minister, Tony Blair, is said to be upbeat about the capture of Saddam claiming that this event could be a 'window of opportunity' for him securing the final Honda seat.
'This is excellent news for me personally" he is alleged to have said "as riding in the MotoGP series may somehow allow me to come up with a new tax for the UK citizens."

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post #7 of 7 Old 12-23-2003, 1:35 PM
 
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Re: Great New MotoGP News Source

My Dog is Not Rossi


Rumours that Valentino Rossi had been turned into a dog by extremist Biaggi fans were proven false today. The fears were originally aroused when ‘Fluffles’ owned by Mrs Margaret Higgleswick was seen in public flaunting a Rossi replica jumper and junior baseball cap.

Honda HRC were quick to respond to the fears by sending a mob of ‘heavies’ around to Mrs Higgleswick house to ‘knock her about a bit’ and steal back the canined Rossi.
“They just broke into my bloody house” explained a distressed Mrs Higgleswick. “They knocked down my door and started poking my eyes and kicking my shins, it was bloody annoying I can tell you. I tried to offer them a drink of tea but that just caused them to poke and kick even harder.”
“This is not the kind of ‘working over’ I like.” she continued, “Chloroform or a stun gun, now that’s the professional way to do it. But this was ham fisted and amateurish, not what I’d expect from the world’s largest motorcycle company, this was more of a ‘satellite Yamaha team's way.”

Eventually HRC were able to overpower Mrs Higgleswick and steal Fluffles where he was taken to a secret test track. “Our aim was to put him onto a RCV5 and record his lap time” explained some trumped-up bigwig from Honda. “We thought that even if Valentino had been turned into a dog he’d still retain some of his natural motorcycle ability and be able to post a competitive time.”
However Fluffles seemed more interested in licking his arse than grappling the controls of the factory Honda bike and slowly proceeded to wander around the track sniffing the grass. He finally completed a lap of the track, without the bike, in a time of 4 hours 27 minutes and 4 seconds - a time that would have put him 18th on the grid just ahead of the Kawasaki’s.
An official Honda timer told us, “We followed his progress around the track and data logged his performance. He lost a bit of time down back straight when he was sidetracked by a Pepperami wrapper that was blowing around and then also went wide through the chicane when he felt the urge to urinate on the Armco. But overall it was a good lap to say it was the first time he’d visited the circuit.”

Despite his efforts it was realised by HRC Honda that fluffles was indeed not Valentino Rossi and in fact just a dog in knitted Rossi shirt. Fluffles was immediately returned to Mrs Higgleswick.
“I’m just delighted to have the little bastard back.” She told us. “I tried to follow his progress on the BBC but they decided to re-run an old sitcom instead. That‘s the last time I‘ll ever pay my TV licence.”
When asked if she would now consider not supporting Rossi and Honda she told us “It would take more than serious bruising, permanently damaged eyesight and a few chipped bones to put me off! We just love ‘The Doctor’ and will continue following him forever.”
“Nibbles loves him too. He gets so excited when he sees the Repsol clad bike leading the race - he’s learnt by now that if there’s a Repsol bike in the lead then it will never be Nicky Hayden.”
“There was this one time when he got so excited when Biaggi fell off,” chuckled Mrs Higgleswick “that he chewed clean through an electrician extension lead and electrocuted his face! He suffered 40% facial burns and singed all the fur off his head! We laughed for hours afterwards!”.

Honda have officially apologised to Mrs Higgleswick and offered to pay for any corrective surgery needed. A spokesman for HRC said “You just cant take any chances these days.”


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