Sadly I left without a wife - Honda Motorcycles - FireBlades.org
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post #1 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
 
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Sadly I left without a wife

This morning I resolved to hunt for a wife. To ensure all where treated fair I decided to give all venues an even chance.

First I went to the Humane Society and was greeted by a kind gentleman who spent the next hour showing me all the dogs and cats. He was kind and all the dogs and cats adorable but sadly I left without a wife.

Next I went to an elementary school. While this location had a lot of females they were all below marrying age so sadly I left without a wife.

From there I decided to persue religious candidates. To be fair I head to a monastary first, suprisingly I left without a wife. So to be equal and fair I headed to the local convent. Lots of fine and lovely ladies but sadly I left without a wife.

Next on to a rest home. Again lots of great people but no one my age so sadly I left without a wife.

Finally I met a single lady on the street and say hi. While pleasant and lovely she had no interest in me so sadly I left without a wife.

Now imagine if we attempted to detect terrorists in this way.

Must obey the sheep dog
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post #2 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:07 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Have you been drinking?
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post #3 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:12 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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Originally Posted by nhfirefighter13 View Post
Have you been drinking?
no just reading the stupid ways they are 'searching' for terrorists. And running the same simulation WAY to many times

Must obey the sheep dog
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post #4 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Is this your way of building a case for tapping the phones of single women?

And then there's this asshole...
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post #5 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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Is this your way of building a case for tapping the phones of single women?
no tapping them

Must obey the sheep dog
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post #6 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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no tapping them
Did you mean "taping"?

Duct tape might help.



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post #7 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.

And then there's this asshole...
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post #8 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:44 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.
But no self-respecting MAN would be anywhere without his "fix everything" roll of duct tape. Your from the great white north, you should know that
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post #9 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 12:44 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Handyman's secret weapon.

And then there's this asshole...
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post #10 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 1:08 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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Originally Posted by nhfirefighter13 View Post
Have you been drinking?
Didn't you mean "Have you stopped drinking?".
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post #11 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 2:04 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

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Originally Posted by phobiaphobe View Post
And zipties make a great restraint 'in a pinch'.
Yeah, and tape can often trap DNA or hair and clothing fibers - where zipties won't. Add in a black minivan with tinted windows and a bottle of chloroform and you've got all you need to find a new "wife".

Just remember to always drive at least 90 miles from your hometown and don't use your credit card anywhere along the way.
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post #12 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 2:14 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Guess the whole point was to suttle for y'all

Must obey the sheep dog
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post #13 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 2:17 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

I hear you Sheep.

We are looking for "love" in all the wrong places...
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post #14 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 2:33 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by ihatecrashing View Post
I hear you Sheep.

We are looking for "love" in all the wrong places...
READ THE LAST LINE and not the one about cows.... but do eat a cow...

Must obey the sheep dog
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post #15 of 41 Old 08-11-2006, 2:44 PM
 
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Re: Sadly I left without a wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by sheepofblue View Post
This morning I resolved to hunt for a wife. To ensure all where treated fair I decided to give all venues an even chance.

First I went to the Humane Society and was greeted by a kind gentleman who spent the next hour showing me all the dogs and cats. He was kind and all the dogs and cats adorable but sadly I left without a wife.

Next I went to an elementary school. While this location had a lot of females they were all below marrying age so sadly I left without a wife.

From there I decided to persue religious candidates. To be fair I head to a monastary first, suprisingly I left without a wife. So to be equal and fair I headed to the local convent. Lots of fine and lovely ladies but sadly I left without a wife.

Next on to a rest home. Again lots of great people but no one my age so sadly I left without a wife.

Finally I met a single lady on the street and say hi. While pleasant and lovely she had no interest in me so sadly I left without a wife.

Now imagine if we attempted to detect terrorists in this way.
So you see Mr. Hand, the dudes are like totally bogus man, whoa...
[Jeff Spicoli]
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