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Discussion Starter #1
I'll throw out a starter, then (hopefully) folks will add chunks and eventually it will make a really outrageusly funny story...


So there I was...on my bored-out, nitrous injected, twin turbo 954 (natch) - when all of a sudden...
 

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So since I was soo upset I pulled off the road, cried for a minute, then threw rocks at all the Harleys that road past.
 

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the local sports car dealership because with all the money my rich uncle left me I thought it was about time I picked up some new wheels.....
 

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Ferrari I thought...could I? Should I? What the hey, you only live once so I told the sexy sales girl to get the black one detailed, clock out, hop in and away we went. She couldn't resist my chaps I guess, so there we were cruising in my new Ferrari when all of the sudden...
 

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I decided to ditch the sales girl as she was messing with the power to weight ratio and I wanted to put this thing through some turns, after I left her at the side of the road I saw in the distance.....
 

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A police cruiser, with the radar gun focused right on me...

(why we bought a ferrari and ditched the girl is beyond me)
 

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So I decided I was going to give this cop a "radar explosion" so I planted my foot, I've got team of lawyers on retainer so I figure they can't touch me even if they can catch me. As I raced past the cop I looked down at the spedo and saw....
 

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Discussion Starter #12
So here I am, coasting down the Interstate in a Ferrari trailing clouds of smoke from a blown engine; with a police cruiser bearing down on me with full lights & siren. Miraculously, the cruiser spins uncontrollably in the oil my car has been spewing onto the asphalt (a la Spy Hunter or James Bond).

I coast to a stop just in time to...
 

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To get out before I became engulfed in the flames that set out to incinerate my new Ferrari. Ah, it was the best of cars; it was the worst of cars. Nothing left to do but start walking with my thumb out. As luck would have it, a car pulls over and much to my surprise...
 

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It was my rich uncle, coming back to tell me he faked his death to get out of paying taxes, and he wanted all his money back. I told him I had spent it all on the Ferarri that was still smoldering on the side of the road. Enraged, he floored the gas and drove me directly to...
 

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Las Vegas, where he forced me to watch Wayne newton's show for 9 days straight. Afterward, as we were staggering out we were approached by...
 

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Wayne Newton himself. He seemed to be infatuated with the chaps I was wearing and said that he would like to write a song about them. At the very moment he began to sing what he had in mind for the chorus; we heard a loud sound emanating from...
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Celine Dion, who had also been admiring my chaps. Her heart would go on, but seemingly my chaps would not. Apparently I was starting to chafe, so I put on a...
 

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A splash of my favorite Hi Karate Cologne, slicked back my hair, dropped some Bianca and swaggered up to Celine with my best pickup line; “Hey, sweet thang, why don’t we…
 

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Ohhh..... I stopped right there, Celine up close is not quite as nice Celine from 30 feet if you get what I mean. I was going to need at least 10 beers and some Jack Daniels if this night was to go on. I quickly made an excuse and bolted in search of some beer goggles and then I found.......
 

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the last empty seat at the bar right beside, oh crap; it was Wayne Newton still humming that stupid song he made up about my chaps. No beer was worth it, so I got up went outside and to my luck, I ran into...
 
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