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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I had the damn slip on my dash... guess the dipshit didn't see it.

I'm mailing a letter to (the much reviled) ImPark today, with the ticket and permit attached.

Here is the text of the letter:
Imperial Parking Canada Corporation
PO Box 4820
Station Terminal
Vancouver, BC
V6B 9Z9
November 7th, 2005
Dear Impark
Thank you so much for your ticket that was placed on my Ford Excursion this past Friday night. Though I had purchased a permit and placed it visibly on the dash, your lot attendant was obviously too vertically challenged and/or visually impaired to spot the miniscule slip. I applaud your noble efforts to staff your company with handi-capable individuals and illiterate refugees, who would otherwise find it very difficult to procure gainful employment in this wonderful land of opportunity. Furthermore, I must apologize for driving such a large vehicle; I should have been more sensitive to the needs of your proud employees. I am proud to live in a country where a monopoly such as Imperial Parking (appropriately named) can have such a great working relationship with the legislature. It is a relief that superficial privacy laws don’t hinder your company, and therefore you have no difficulty collecting missed payments from people who drive tall vehicles. It’s always a pleasure to see democracy and capitalism function properly.
Since this vehicle is owned and registered to my employer, the fine will certainly be mailed to my office, where no less than 4 administrative clerks and 3 managers will have it pass through their hands. Several person-hours will be utilized, at great expense, to pay this $35.00 fine, ($65.00 after 7 days) deduct it from my pay, and refund it to me several weeks later. Our administrators and management here are badly underutilized, and will graciously accept this opportunity for additional work. I would like to thank you on their behalf.
Attached is the original citation, accompanied by the original paid permit. I have kept facsimiles for my own records.
Thank you very much for your time, please call me if you require any further assistance.


Yours truly

Phobiaphobe
Rentals Manager
CMP Classic Automotive LTD.
Calgary Alberta
(403) 207 XXXX

 

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Dude, I suggest editing out some of your personal info.

But damn funny nonetheless. :thumb:
 

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Sounds about right...I hate parking tickets, Mind you I think that it would be a good job, think of how many people you could piss off in a day...especially around christmas time:p
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Impark has a special exemption from the provincial government here that allows them access to the registries database to make it easier for them to go after people. They are not very well liked in Calgary or Edmonton.
 

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I hope you get nailed with a big fine and get to spend time with Bubba's french cousin in the slammer for trying to punk the mounties, you no good Frenchy McCheese punk. :rasp:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I hope you lose your job and have to go back to public school with all the little slow children in remedial English and teach you not to write in run-on sentences and it really pisses you off and you have to sell your kids and you fail anyways and have to collect welfare to pay for your crack habit while you live out of a refrigerator box you Yankee-Doodle anarchist bastard. :p
 

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Discussion Starter #9
oldfogey said:
Phobe, I think your proactive response to your parking ticket is creating a new paradigm for us all to follow.
As long as you can create a relationship with synergy, vis-a-vis a network, ergo making a statement.
 

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I hope you lose your job and have to go back to public school with all the little slow children in remedial English and teach you not to write in run-on sentences and it really pisses you off and you have to sell your kids and you fail anyways and have to collect welfare to pay for your crack habit while you live out of a refrigerator box you Yankee-Doodle anarchist bastard.
I dont care who you are, thats funny right there.
 

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phobiaphobe said:
I hope you lose your job and have to go back to public school with all the little slow children in remedial English and teach you not to write in run-on sentences and it really pisses you off and you have to sell your kids and you fail anyways and have to collect welfare to pay for your crack habit while you live out of a refrigerator box you Yankee-Doodle anarchist bastard. :p
:rotfl::clap: :patriot:
 

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phobiaphobe said:
I hope you lose your job and have to go back to public school with all the little slow children in remedial English and teach you not to write in run-on sentences and it really pisses you off and you have to sell your kids and you fail anyways and have to collect welfare to pay for your crack habit while you live out of a refrigerator box you Yankee-Doodle anarchist bastard. :p
Sounds like Canadia to me. :idunno:
Frenchy.
 
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