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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the
last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00

====================================
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.

Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench; hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps and missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $20.00
Total -- $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!
 

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Sweet, thanks. :clap:

I've been trying to convince the wife to go to the quick change places, but she likes me to do it. This might just enlighten her to the troubles I go through making her happy. :rolleyes:


.... and of course, I do my own car because I want it done right :smilebig:
 

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I used to do the quick change places until I got under my truck one day and noticed none of the zerk fittings had seen grease since the General sold it to me. :rant:
 

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luvtolean said:
I used to do the quick change places until I got under my truck one day and noticed none of the zerk fittings had seen grease since the General sold it to me. :rant:
Wally World rebuilt my Transmission to the tune of $1600 due to them not checking the fluid, or greasing the fittings. Both were checked on the work order. Oh, and rented me a Z71 for 2 weeks.
 

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Where did you find this woman that actually took her car to get an oil change done rather than just driving her car until it died and then wondered what was wrong?
 

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BDA116 said:
Where did you find this woman that actually took her car to get an oil change done rather than just driving her car until it died and then wondered what was wrong?
Exactaly. "Honey the car is making a funny noise." "When did it start?" "A few weeks ago...":rant:
 

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BDA116 said:
Where did you find this woman that actually took her car to get an oil change done rather than just driving her car until it died and then wondered what was wrong?
Hey, now. I've been doing regular oil changes on all vehicles I've owned, starting with my car when I was 17.
 

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BDA116 said:
Where did you find this woman that actually took her car to get an oil change done rather than just driving her car until it died and then wondered what was wrong?
My wife once let her Cadillac oil change go 20,000 miles overdue.
 

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mikeinjax said:
I thought they waited for the check engine light to come on before checking or changing the oil?
You mean "put a Post-It stick it over it becasue is was too bright and annoying at night." True story:rant: In the womens defence...I've seen just as stupid stuff from men. Just not as often.
 

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HondaGalToo said:
See my above post. :twofing: to all of you. We're all not like that.
I'm making a broad generalization...not a generalization of broads:rotfl:Truely you and Honda Gal are an exception and that cool:thumb:
 

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Just as that stupid story makes a broad generalization of men, which is absolutely untrue. I have never met a man that would even remotely match that story.
 

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BDA116 said:
Just as that stupid story makes a broad generalization of men, which is absolutely untrue. I have never met a man that would even remotely match that story.
I see this stupidity (Usualy from men in my line of work) everyday. Last week a guy brought in a boat because "its just not running right. I'm not talking about POS boston whaler either...we dont work on anything worth less than $100k. Anyways, this is a $250k Fountain powerboat...both engines totaly melted down, over $50k in damage. Cause: overheated from no water pressure (lack of maintance on water pumps)...because when he took it out last he cut the warning light wire becasue it was too bright and just kept running it.:huh:
 
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