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Copied this from another site... I thought it was pretty good.

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Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

How about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit start !!
 

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Good thing I did not come in with my lingo being a born Cdn of Cdn parents, but those I worked with in the m/c shops to also all the books I imported were in British spelling to grammer WHEN I was dealing with British irons from '46 till sometime in the 70s & still tend to use it.

You should hear our dialict of the English language compared to fellow Americans.
 

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Good thing I did not come in with my lingo being a born Cdn of Cdn parents, but those I worked with in the m/c shops to also all the books I imported were in British spelling to grammer WHEN I was dealing with British irons from '46 till sometime in the 70s & still tend to use it.

You should hear our dialict of the English language compared to fellow Americans.

Record a bit and post it up, sounds intriguing, you anywhere near the ice roads truckers???
 

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Des, it is the English LanguageS. They say we are a common people separated by a common language.:huh:

Ask any American where the boot is, or bonnet on a car and they will tilt their heads like the RCA Victrola dog.

Even here in the states, words mean different things. If you wanted a canned non-alcoholic refreshment here in SD it would commonly be referred to as "pop" or "soda pop". In other parts of the country, all "pop" is called "Coke", "So what flavor of Coke do you want?" In other parts, it is called a "fountain." Some places shorten things up and call it a "sod." (pronounced SOAD)

Then look at things like chips. We give the French credit for chips calling them French fries. We call potato chips, well chips, but they are flat slices and come in a bag. Had an Australian get pretty perplexed in a PX one time when he wanted to order French fries and kept calling them chips. The lady behind the counter kept telling him they didn't sell chips, but he could see them clearly on the menu!

I watch Wheeler Dealers with Mike and Edd. Interesting to see what we call a paint job referred to as a spray. Then there is bodgy work or bodged up. We might call it dinged up or dented. We call metal worms - rust.

Maybe we could put together a translation index for people that come on here to help them manage their wits. Of course, that won't help them much with all the bleeping that goes on, on "Chop Shop" with Lipoo and the other guy.

I really have enjoyed watching the Isle of Mann coverage lately on HD theater. There are times that they leave me scratching my head with their commentary. It is even more of an issue with the FIM Speedway announcers. They are of the high pitched, nearly yelling kind of announcers. All in all, it reminds me of the racing coverage that Jackie Stewart provided in the '80's.

Well done old chap!:clap:
 
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